I Know You See Me
by angelicmethod
Summary: It had been five years since she'd walked away from him, five years since she'd gone to Italy to save the man she'd never truly loved. It had been five long years since she'd felt the sunshine and warmth of her wolf and now she's determined to get him back... at any cost.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Twilight, nor am I affiliated with Stephenie Meyer, Summit Entertainment or Lionsgate Films. Chapter title is from the song "Inconsolable" - Backstreet Boys and the story title is from the song "Fallout" - Marianas Trench, those belong to the artists and I am not affiliated with them, either. Hope you all enjoy!

*I Know You See Me*

*Bella's POV – A Thousand More Regrets Unraveling*

Everything had changed in my life; I was so completely different now. Five years had passed since I had left Jacob behind and flown to Italy to rescue Edward. Five long years since I'd realized that eternity as a vampire wasn't what I'd wanted after all. I'd blown my chance with who I truly wanted when I'd left him, standing there on the darkened street in front of my father's home and left with Alice to rescue Edward. Five long years since I'd left the love of my life behind.

I had moved on from Edward, and was finally making up my own mind about what I wanted to do with my life. I had gone to college and received my degree in Early Childhood Development and was now teaching the Second Grade at Dry Creek Elementary School in Port Angeles. I now lived with my roommate, another girl from Forks and the one true friend I had made and held onto from Forks High. Everything should be good, I should be happy with my life, right? Wrong, because I didn't have Jacob. There was no happy life for me without him.

Angela cleared her throat once and broke me from my internal musings. She sighed and pulled her red-rimmed glasses off of her face and glanced at me for a split second. "Bella, you're lost in your thoughts again," she said softly before her eyes once again focused on the computer in front of her.

She knew me better than anyone except Jacob, and she could now tell when my mind was wandering away from me. Angela Weber, the quiet girl who'd taken me under her wing when I'd first come here to Washington State. I'd been shyer than her, more reserved and scared of the possibilities that awaited me in this new place. I had changed, Angela had not.

She was still quiet, shy, reserved and had an exotic quality about her that most girls only dreamed of having. She was unquestionably gorgeous, with her beautiful, straight black hair that hit just below her shoulders and her perfectly shaped nose that was perched just so right on her face above her lips that even I could imagine would be soft as clouds and probably tasted just as sweet as they looked – not that I'd ever tried anything like that, but who was I to say that I wouldn't do it if the chance arose?. The oval shape of her face was enviable and her eyes, smooth pools of caramel, were heavily lined by the longest, thickest lashes I'd seen outside of magazine ads. She was gorgeous.

The best thing about Angela though was that she didn't know just how beautiful she was. She didn't use her looks for things and she didn't act snotty like other girls did, she was just happy and kind and didn't even think on the fact that she could have any guy she wanted. She was a wonderful person and that's what I loved about her most.

She and I were the best of friends, closer than most siblings, and so she now knew my secret. The secret I'd been carrying in my heart for the past five years. I was desperately in love with Jacob Black, more so now than I had been before, and I was lost without him. She took it in stride - of course she didn't know about wolves or vampires, that wasn't my place to tell – and told me the solution to my problem was simple (Queue images from the Little Mermaid). I had to find Jacob and tell him the truth. I had to tell him how I felt and beg him, if necessary, to take me back.

Though I agreed that was what needed to be done, it was all far from simple. Jacob hadn't wanted to speak to me when I'd returned from saving Edward, and he still didn't. I'd tried calling, showing up at his house… everything short of stalking him, and the truth was staring me in the face, he just didn't have it in his heart to forgive me this time. I'd broken him beyond repair, and he didn't want me anymore. That hurt me more than Edward leaving me ever could have… Jacob didn't want me.

I could still remember when he'd look at me like I was the most important thing in his life, his dark eyes always finding mine as that cocky smile formed on his lips. His face turning shades of red as I would lick my lips or as he watched me bend over (I'd known he was there) or the way he would quirk one eyebrow at me as he bit down on that luscious bottom lip of his. I'd get lost as I imagined what it would be like to taste his mouth and thoroughly kiss him. I'd imagine what his hot body would have felt like above mine as he took me to pleasurable heights that only my imagination could make up. Every sexual fantasy I'd ever had while I'd been with Edward had been about Jacob, though at the time I'd denied even being attracted to Jake (how stupid of me to think I could deny my feelings for him). I'd desired warmth, and sunshine and life but I'd been selfish and had been willing to hurt who I'd truly wanted just so I could have eternity. I'd known before I'd even left to rescue Edward that I didn't want him anymore, I'd just been so scared as I fought against my feelings for Jacob that I didn't truly see until it was too late.

Breaking from my thoughts, I glanced up from my own computer screen and peeked over at Angela once more. I could feel the flush of embarrassment cover my face and my chest as I squirmed in my seat. The tell-tale wetness between my legs and the harshness of my breathing giving me away that I'd once again let my thoughts run away to Jacob. He'd been in my every waking and sleeping thought since the day I'd let myself feel the truth about my feelings for him, and I was slowly going mad with my unfulfilled desire for him. I had to have him back, and I wasn't going to give up until he realized he needed me, too. I would spend the rest of my life fighting for him if that was what it took, but how was I going to do that when he wouldn't even talk to me?

Angela let out a heavy sigh as she pounded away at her keyboard with a ferocity that I didn't know she possessed. Who knew that doing lesson plans for the coming months could invoke such anger and hostility from anyone let alone sweet, quiet, reserved Angela Weber?

"You okay, Ang?" I asked as she looked over at me, her brows were knit together in concentration or anger, I couldn't tell which, and her fingers stopped moving over the keyboard as she simply stared at me.

"Bella, you can't keep doing this to yourself," she sighed once more as she turned bodily toward me. "You need to call him or something, go to his house; you can't keep beating yourself up over something that happened when you were 18. If you love him, and I know you do, you need to tell him. I just can't stand much more of this."

"He doesn't want to see me, Ang, and he sure as hell doesn't want to talk to me. Besides, it's been five years anyway, he's probably married by now," the words tasted bitter and foreign as I let them slip from my lips. I wanted to cry at the simple thought of Jacob with anyone that wasn't me, once again proving just how truly selfish I was. Sure, I wanted Jacob to be happy, but I wanted him to be happy with me.

"What if I told you that I know he's not married?" she asked as she scooted across the couch and grabbed my hands in hers. I started shaking slightly as I looked up at the girl I now considered my sister and choked back the tears that were threatening to make an appearance.

"How could you possibly know that?" I whispered, my voice only cracking once. That was an accomplishment, considering how close I was to breaking down at the moment.

"Well, I've run into him a couple of times… when I go visit my parents. We've sort of been talking." I glared at her and I had to fight back the urge to rip her hair out. She was talking to him? How was she talking to him? "As friends, Bella, nothing more, I swear! I would never do that to you."

If this was a joke I was going to kill her. She had been talking to Jacob, my Jacob?

"He owns a garage just outside of La Push now and he's not married. I don't think he's even dating anyone at the moment." She shrugged as she pulled herself even closer to me, her legs folded yoga-style as she released one of my hands and pushed some of my hair behind my ear. "I think that it's about time for you to tell him that you were wrong. You've been hiding away long enough and he deserves to hear the truth. Even if nothing can come of this, don't you think he has the right to know that you are in love with him?"

I nodded and blinked rapidly, the tears even closer to the surface now as I thought about facing Jacob Black again. How would he react to seeing me? How would I react to seeing him? I didn't even know if I could talk to him let alone see him face to face.

"You have to do this Bella or you'll always wonder about what could have been."

She was absolutely right. As it was, I'd already missed out on five years with Jacob and there was no getting those years back. "Okay," I whispered softly. "How do I get a hold of him?"

Angela smiled brightly and pulled her hands away from mine. She was giddy (very Alice-like) as she reached back toward her computer and grabbed her cellphone, her fingers moving over the touch-screen rapidly and then she thrust it at me while the number dialed. My throat felt as if it was closing up and my hands were shaking as I held the phone up to my ear and listened to the ringing on the other end.

"Hey, Angela, what's up?" his voice answered after the third ring. My eyes locked on hers and my mouth moved to form the words that I so desperately wanted to say but nothing came out. His voice was exactly how I'd remembered it and it was doing so many things to me that I couldn't even think of what to say.

_I couldn't do this… I can't…_

"Ang, you okay?" he asked as his voice took on a bit of a panicked tone. "What's wrong? Is it Bella?"

He knew Angela was my roommate or at least that she was in contact with me. What had she told him? Not that I could ask her that at the moment, but that conversation would be happening as soon as I could remember how to fucking talk.

Jacob knew Angela was with me and he was worried… about _me_?

"J-Jacob," I choked out, my hands shaking even harder and the tears were now rolling down my face in warm rivulets. "T-this is B-Bella."

My breath was now hitching as I sobbed openly. The other end of the phone was completely quiet now and I was afraid that he'd hung up. This wasn't happening; I needed him to listen to me though I had no right to even ask him to give me a chance to explain. The reality of all of this was I had ruined everything Jacob had done for me in one single moment, and I deserved nothing from him. I hiccupped through my tears, strong Bella was out the window at the moment, blubbering and sobbing Bella was present and accounted for. I was a complete fucking mess as I waited for him to answer…

"Bella…" he whispered softly, his voice wrapping around my name in the sweetest symphony I'd ever heard in my life and then my world came crashing back down around me in the bitter reality that I had come to know. "What do you want, Bella? Why are you calling me from Angela's phone?"

I fought against the anger that boiled up inside of me… he didn't deserve it. I had no right to be angry with Jacob. He had every right to be angry with me after what I'd put him through and I couldn't ruin this. Not now that I had him on the phone with me for the first time in five years. I couldn't let him go…

"I'm sorry, I just had to talk to you, don't be upset with Angela," I answered, my voice sounding a lot stronger than I felt at that moment. "I miss you and I had to hear your voice. T-there's so much I have to say to you."

He was silent once more and I was really worried that he'd hung up this time. I pulled the phone away from my ear and watched the timer of the call continue to click through the seconds. He was still there… I had to tell him, I had to tell him before he hung up on me. I put the phone back against my ear and inhaled deeply as I focused my eyes back on my friend and roommate, she nodded her head and quirked her lips in a small smile of encouragement.

"Jacob, I have to tell you so many things," I said softly as I listened on the other end to make sure he was still there, at least I hoped he was. "I'm so sorry for everything I did, I was wrong. I have wished so many times that I had done things differently and if I could change it, I would. I was wrong and I should never have left that night."

"Bella," he whispered. My body was reacting to his voice in ways I'd never expected. I was so hot for him that I couldn't stand it but I didn't have time to think about that as he rushed on. "I begged you, I begged you to stay with me. I did everything I could to make you see that I was the right one for you and you still left me."

"I know, Jake, I'm so sorry," I answered quickly, trying hard to make sure he could hear the sincerity in my voice. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't regret what I'd done to him and if he'd give me the chance, I'd make sure he'd never have a reason to question my feelings for him again. "I just want to tell you that when I got back I tried to get a hold of you. I will never forgive myself for what I did, but I'm hoping that you can forgive me. I miss you so much, Jacob, and as soon as I got back I let them go. The Cullens, all of them, haven't been a part of my life since."

"What exactly do you expect me to say, Bella?" he sighed and I could hear him rubbing his hand roughly over his face. He hadn't hung up on me yet, that was a good sign. He was pissed off, beyond pissed off, but I would take his wrath as long as he would talk to me. "I'm not quite sure what you want from me, so why don't you just lay it all out for me, huh? Because I'm at a complete fucking loss how you think I could just forget about all the shit you put me through."

His anger toward me was deserved but it was also making it hard for me to concentrate when he was growling like that into my ear. He had no idea what he was doing to me at this very moment but I was to the point of almost getting up and driving to his house and showing him just how sorry I truly was and how badly I wanted him. I glanced back at Angela and she nodded once and got up off the couch. She made a hasty retreat to her room and I waited until her door closed before speaking again.

"Jacob," I sighed but it came out more like a moan. Oh good, make him think you're even more unstable. "I know you're angry and you have every right to be angry with me but I'm trying to tell you that I know now… shit, I've known for a long time that I made a mistake. I should never have left because I knew in my heart that I didn't even fucking want Edward anymore! I was just so scared of admitting to myself what that meant."

"What exactly does that mean, Bella? Pretend for one fucking second that I'm stupid and spell it out for me," he hollered back. My heart leapt into my throat as I found myself feeling sick to my stomach and I was worried that he wouldn't even hear the words I was about to say to him.

"I shouldn't have gotten into that car, you shouldn't have answered the door, none of it should have happened the way it did. I knew before I even left that I didn't want Edward anymore. I was just so scared of facing the truth. I love you. I'm in love with you Jacob and I have been trying to find a way to tell you that for the past five years. I love you so much and…"

I stopped talking; it didn't matter anymore because he wouldn't hear anything else I had to say. I stopped talking as I heard a click from the other end of the phone followed by dead silence.

*Jacob's POV*

_"I shouldn't have gotten into that car, you shouldn't have answered the door, none of it should have happened the way it did. I knew before I even left that I didn't want Edward anymore. I was just so scared of facing the truth. I love you. I'm in love with you Jacob and I have been trying to find a way to tell you that for the past five years. I love you so much and…"_

I listened as she spoke the words I'd longed to hear for so long and my heart constricted tightly in my chest. She'd known… she'd known that she was in love with me and she'd still left me. That was all I could take, I pulled the phone away from my ear and hit the end button. I couldn't do this, I couldn't listen to her tell me everything I'd already known. I'd known that she was meant to be mine, I'd even told her as much. She'd been so scared that I'd imprint and leave her, I knew that. Imprinting was rare… only Sam and Jared had imprinted in our pack. I'd talked to her endless times, just trying to get her to believe me and see what I already saw. I knew I wasn't ever going to love anyone but her, and I had seen the looks on her face when she'd looked at me. I'd given her time and I hadn't pushed even though I knew in my heart that she felt what I was feeling for her. She was in love with me; she just had to admit it to herself. She'd gotten closer to the pack, to her father, and to me in the months after the leech left. She smiled more, she seemed genuinely happy for the first time since even before he'd left her. I had been so sure that she felt the same about me… I hadn't been wrong, after all.

But she'd still left me standing there that night…

I'd begged, I'd pleaded and practically become the dog her bloodsucking 'friend' had said I was. She was right about one thing; I shouldn't have answered the fucking door that night. I'd smelled her there before I'd even opened the door and I should have just left her standing outside on the front step. I didn't like her or Edward fucking Cullen, no matter how much everyone thought they were different… something didn't sit right with me about them.

Instead of going with my gut, I'd opened that door and I'd stood back and watched as Bella talked to the leech and somehow got talked into flying to Italy to save Edward. I begged her not to go; I was about one second away from falling to my knees and holding her there. I'd done everything short of throwing myself in front of that fucking car, though I know I would have done what she asked me to. I'd given her all of myself but it wasn't enough. Why couldn't I ever be enough for her? I'd never kept things from her; I loved her with my whole heart, my soul and everything else I had to give. I gave myself to her freely, and all I'd ever asked in return was for her to love me… and she had, she just hadn't told me. She loved me… but she'd still left me to go to Italy to save her leech.

I'd loved her (still did) so completely, and I'd been sure that she'd finally picked me. I'd been so sure of everything that had to do with Bella Swan, and she still managed to surprise me when she cut me down. She should have told me of her feelings for me before. Sure, now she was telling me everything I had wanted so badly to hear back then, but it was too late. I'd spent the last five years trying to get over her, and I wasn't going to change my mind about it now. I still cared for her, fuck; I was still deeply in love with her. But I wouldn't go back and get my heart ripped from my chest again and watch her squeeze the life out it only to hand it back to me with a shrug and tell me she chose the bloodsucker... never again. I didn't have the strength for that shit anymore.

No other person in this world could break me quite the way Bella Swan could.

"Jake." Embry walked into the office wiping his grease and oil covered hands on a rag, his eyes wide and knowing. "You hung up on Bella?"

"Yeah," I said simply as I pushed my chair back from my desk and stood. I pulled the top of my coveralls back up over my t-shirt and zipped it up. "I can't get into these things with her right now. She made her choices and now she has to live with the consequences."

"Fuck, man, she just told you she's in love with you and you're still not going to let her back into your life?" he asked as he stepped back into the doorway, his bulk filling the area so I couldn't step around him. I didn't want to fight with my friend, but I was in the mood to just toss his ass if I had to. "Isn't that what you've always wanted? Come on, Jacob… you still want her. You still love her…"

"Like I said, Em, she made her decisions." I shrugged my shoulders half-heartedly. Embry was right of course, my whole pack knew it. My feelings for Bella had never changed, but I wasn't the same naïve teenage boy that I had been. Things were different now… I was different. Of course, deep inside I was fighting with myself, I wanted to call her back and tell her how much I still wanted her and that even after everything she'd done I was still in love with her, but I couldn't do that. I couldn't just let her back into my life because of a few pretty words. She owed me more than that. She'd have to prove to me in the end that I was really the one she wanted. I wasn't going to give in so easy this time. She wasn't going to break me, never again. I was better than that, and I deserved to be treated better than I had been in the past. "I'm not a fucking lap dog that's going to just run back and hope like hell that she's sure this time, she's going to have her work cut out for her if she's ever going to get me back."

Embry nodded once and stepped aside to let me through. I went back to work on the car I was currently restoring. I had practically drooled all over myself when they'd hauled it into my garage. The '66 Shelby Cobra 427 was a piece of mechanical art (and it was drool-worthy) and I was beyond ecstatic that I was the one that got to fix it up and bring it back to life. This was how I'd passed my time in the last five years, there was nothing quite like being able to restore a small piece of history with my own two hands.

"What the fuck is up with him?" Quil asked as he slid out from under a car in the bay next to mine. His eyes met Embry's and then he turned back toward Paul and Seth. Most of my pack worked for me these days, and they also put up with my shit when I couldn't hold the stress and hurt in anymore. They could also tell, feel, when something wasn't quite right with me or one of our other brothers or our sister. Today was no different… and it had started out as such a good day, too. "You all right, Alpha?"

"I'm fine, Quil. Just get back to work," I sighed as I lie down on my creeper* and started to roll under the car so I could block everything else out. Apparently Paul wasn't having that though as he grabbed the end of it and whipped me back out in the open and stood over me with his legs on either side of my body.

"What the fuck is the issue, Alpha? We can feel your anger," Paul growled deeply in his chest. I knew I must have been throwing off some serious vibes for my pack to be on alert like they were. Quil and Seth, along with Embry were all surrounding me in a semi-circle with their arms folded over their chests as Paul continued to stare down at me. "Something's changed in the past half hour or so, and it all started with that damn phone call. I take it that it wasn't something you wanted to hear?"

Embry glanced down at me for a moment before he looked back up at the other three. "He talked to Bella, that's why he's so pissed off."

"Bella called you?" Seth piped in, his smile splitting his face in a way I hadn't seen in quite some time. Bella was, after all, close to becoming his sister if Charlie and Sue would hurry up and tie the knot already. "I thought you weren't talking to her."

"That's the thing, she called me from Angela's phone," I growled and maneuvered my way up from under Paul's legs. My fists were clenching and my body was shaking slightly. I really didn't want to talk about this; I didn't even want to think about Bella at all. It was bad enough that I'd just sat in my office and hashed things over in my mind. I hadn't thought that thoroughly about my past in five fucking years and here she was dredging up memories of better times and what could have been. I was still hurt, I was pissed… and I wasn't going to let her break me again. I didn't have the luxury of thinking of just myself; I had a pack to look after and a garage to run. There was just no room for Bella anymore. She'd made her choice; it wasn't my fault that it didn't work out the way she'd wanted it to. She'd left me. "I answered because I'd thought it was Ang, I had no idea that it was her."

"She told him that she was in love with him, she left Edward as soon as she brought him back from Italy. She's been trying to get a hold of Jake all this time," Embry cut back in. I was going to punch him right in the fucking face. Didn't he know when to keep his mouth shut and mind his own business? "And then he hung up on her, didn't really give her time to explain everything. She doesn't know that he still feels the same way about her." Apparently fucking not.

"Embry, shut the fuck up," I snarled loudly at him. I could feel the tremors coming faster and my bones were starting to snap and realign. I had to calm down… "I don't ever fucking want to talk about Bella Swan again, is that understood?"

They all backed away from me slowly and I closed my eyes as I inhaled deeply through my nose. I couldn't do this shit; I couldn't live my life hoping that Bella had finally come to her senses and made the right decision for once. I wasn't going to waste my life pining away for someone that changed their mind all the time. There was no hope for me and Bella, not anymore…

*Bella's POV*

I couldn't stop the tears from falling as I stared at the phone in my hand. I could call him back, but he would just hang up on me again. I'd really messed up. I'd lost everything and there was no one to blame but myself. Jacob had offered me everything and I'd walked away from him without even glancing back. Of course he was pissed off at me, and if I were him, I wouldn't forgive me either. He deserved better than me…

"You okay, Bella?" Angela asked softly as she sat down on the couch. She looked at me and then used her hand to push some of my hair behind my ear. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything about Jacob before, but there is something else I need to tell you."

"I'm fine, it's all fine," I sighed and wiped some of my tears away with the back of my hand. "You didn't have to tell me anything. Jake can be friends with whomever he wants, I don't have a say in that."

"It's not like that, Bella. I started talking to Jacob because, well, I'm sort of seeing one of his friends," she smiled softly as a deep red blush started making its way up her chest and onto her cheeks.

"That's great, Ang. I'm happy for you, really. Who is the lucky guy?" I wanted to be happier for her, but I was worn thin. My heart ached and my head was throbbing from crying so much, but I really did want to share in my friend's happiness. I could do that for her… I could be a good friend.

"Quil Ateara. We've been together for about six months now, I just didn't… I'm sorry I didn't tell you before," Angela whispered as she glanced my way, her fingers rubbing together nervously. "I know this is probably not the best time for you to even find out about this, and I'm truly sorry. I didn't expect to fall for someone that was friends with your Jacob. It just happened."

"Angela, it's fine. Quil is a wonderful man and I know that he will take very good care of you," I said as I grabbed her hands in mine and pulled her to face me. This was my best friend and I wouldn't let anything come between us, not that this would have. Quil truly was a wonderful person and I loved him dearly. He and Embry had been my friends before everything happened and now Seth and Leah were going to be my siblings… if my dad would hurry up and make an honest woman of Sue. "I'm happy for you, and I'm not mad, not at you or Quil. I'm mad at myself; I'm the one who ruined this with Jacob. I wouldn't forgive me either if I were him. I really hurt him… too many times and for reasons that I don't even quite understand. I knew that I wasn't in love with Edward and I still continued to hurt Jacob and hold him at arm's length. You and Quil have nothing to do with why I'm upset, that's all on me."

"Maybe we can help you though, I mean, Jacob does care for you still," she said excitedly, her nerves all but gone now and the smile once again in place on her lips. "What about, we could maybe make it so you guys run into each other or something?"

"I don't think so, Ang, I think that's a bit played out isn't it?" I laughed softly; my tears now just dried salty trails on my cheeks. I couldn't stay upset; if Jake couldn't find it in himself to forgive me then I had to move on, too… no matter how much it hurt. "Besides, Jacob would be totally pissed off at Quil if he ever found out."

"Nah, Quil's really good at hiding his thoughts from Jacob," she said with a shrug. So she knew about the wolves… but did that mean…

"Angela, how much do you know?"

"Enough, Bella, enough," she answered. "Lemme have my phone, I need to make a call, okay?"

I handed her phone to her and watched as she dialed another number, her foot tapping softly on the light blue carpet beneath her feet. I watched another smile pull across her lips, this time it was bright and happy and full of what looked like love. "Hi baby, how's work going?" she asked as she looked back toward me, her eyes full of mischief. I didn't like this one bit. Nothing good ever came from her looking like that. "I'm with Bella right now, and I was wondering… can you talk... privately?"

She waited a minute before she spoke again; apparently Quil hadn't been somewhere private enough. That meant he had been close to Jacob and that fact alone had my heart racing and my palms sweating. I couldn't help but think about his voice, his smile, his eyes and how they used to light up when I'd walked in the room, his hands… all of him. I was a lost cause; I was ruined for any other man besides Jacob Black. I just had to fix this…

"Okay, well, Bella talked to Jacob and told him how she felt. I know Jake is upset, but I also know he still cares about her. I want to set up a way for them to run into each other, can I bring her along with me tomorrow night?"

My eyebrows rose high on my forehead as I listened to Angela's side of the conversation. This girl was going to get me in trouble. Jacob had made it quite clear that he didn't want to see me, period, and I didn't want to mess this up even worse than it already was. I tried shaking my head no at her but she just shushed me and went back to her conversation with Quil as if I hadn't even been there.

"Good, we'll see you tomorrow then. Yeah, we'll be there around 7 o'clock, okay? Yeah, just make sure he's there, Quil, or so help me. All right, I love you. Yep I will, bye, baby."

I sat there watching her with my mouth open. What the hell did she just do?

"All right, Miss Bella, come with me," Angela said with a smirk as she stuffed her phone into her back pocket and reached toward me. I took her hand and hefted myself up off the couch, my mind racing at what exactly she was planning. This couldn't be good…

"What are we doing?" I asked hesitantly. I knew that she and Quil were doing something that was going to piss Jacob off, and I was even more scared now that I knew there was a chance that I was going to see him tomorrow night. I also couldn't help but feel a bit excited at the prospect of seeing him, too. I wanted to see him, I wanted to hug him and kiss him and tell him over and over how much I loved him and missed him. I just wanted things to go back to how they'd been before I had been stupid enough to leave him behind.

"We're going to find you something to wear for tomorrow night, and I'm going to do your hair and make-up tomorrow before we leave. You're going to look so hot that Jacob won't be able to stay away."

I followed behind her and didn't say anything. I'd let her do whatever she wanted and I'd also let her put me into whatever ridiculously tight and skimpy outfit she wanted if that meant that Jacob would talk to me. I'd keep my mouth shut the whole time she did my hair and make-up too. I would do whatever it took to get him to look at me again the way he used to.

When we reached her room I sat on her bed as she tore through her closet and dressers like a mad woman, throwing outfits all over the place and shoes were flying from the open closet doors. Angela was a woman on a mission, and I wasn't going to fight her, not about this.

"He's going to forgive you, Bella," Angela said as she pulled more outfits out and set them on the bed beside me. She sounded so sure, but for some reason I couldn't make myself feel the same way. Jacob was angry and hurt, and I wasn't sure I had it in me to change his mind about that. After all, I'd been the one to hurt him in a way that he hadn't deserved.

I had been a fool to let him go, and now I was paying the price for being stupid and naïve. I had lost Jacob, and that was my biggest regret. I'd lost him; I just hoped that I could get him back and make him see that I would spend the rest of my life loving him the way he deserved… the way it should have always been before I'd messed everything up.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, I'm not Stephenie Meyer. Chapter Title comes from 'Lover Dearest' - Marianas Trench.

Thank you to my beta don'tcallmeLeeLee, I love you! She also made the graphics and banner for this story... she's just that wonderful!

*I Know You See Me*

*Bella's POV – The Bitter In You, And The Quitter In Me*

I went through the motions of my day, completely caught up in my own thoughts most of the time but I made it through none-the-less. Luckily, my students all had workbooks to work on and other little art projects to keep them busy while I was daydreaming. Usually, Fridays were my favorite day of the week but today was different. Angela was taking me to the reservation tonight for a bonfire, and I knew Jacob was going to be very upset that I was going to be there… or would be if he even bothered to show up. My biggest worry was for Angela and Quil, they would be in some serious hot water if Jacob ever found out it was them who planned this whole thing, not that I'd fought them about it all that much. I wanted to see him bad enough, and so, I was willing to go along with this crazy-ass plan.

I had arrived back at the apartment around 4pm and was about to start making something quick and easy for dinner when Angela burst through the door, her arms loaded down with bags of…

Oh, God, she was going to fucking torture me. Hair care and make-up weren't my strong points but it looked as if my roommate and friend had bought out the entire store and had brought it home with her. It was bad enough I was going to be walking First Beach in a black and white plaid mini skirt and a tight white tank-top. I was just thankful she didn't pull out a pair of heels for me to try and walk through the sand in.

"Hurry up and eat a little something, Bella." Angela smiled brightly at me as she tossed the bags down next to one of the kitchen chairs. "You're going to be mine for the next few hours."

She was so much like Alice - in a good way - it was crazy, but I had agreed to this and I did want to look good in case Jacob was there so I simply nodded and got to work on making myself and Angela a grilled chicken salad with spinach, mushrooms and feta cheese. Tonight was a light dinner night; my stomach couldn't handle anything too heavy. As it was, I was afraid of puking as soon as we hit La Push.

We ate quickly and rinsed all the dishes and placed them in the dishwasher. She had me shower and change my clothes before she had me sit down for the rest. Before I knew it, it was torture time. I sat in the chair closest to the bathroom in case I had to get up and go, and I waited as Angela started setting everything out on the table in front of us. She tried explaining what it all was and what it was for, but I was hopeless unless it was chapstick and mascara - though I tended to poke myself in the eye a lot. I was a minimalist, the less time I needed to worry about all the girly stuff, the more time I had for work or reading or worrying myself to death.

"Okay, show time," she laughed lightly. I let my eyes close and I thought of everything I might say to Jacob tonight as she started applying different liquids, lotions and powders to my face. I sat as still as I possibly could, my thoughts drifting back to the way things had been before I'd left Jacob.

I'd been so ready to move on, start a new life and just be happy. Every day that I got to spend with Jake was better than the one before it, and every single day, I fell even more in love with him. It had scared me, thrown me completely off that I could forget Edward like that… but _he_ had left _me_. I had every right to move forward with my life and enjoy the love and happiness that surrounded me when Jacob was around. The hole in my heart had only taken months to repair, after that; I noticed that I had barely even thought of Edward and the Cullens. Jacob was becoming the very thing, the very _person_ I needed to have in my life. Nothing was ever that cut and dry in my life before, nor had it ever seemed so easy. But loving Jacob was exactly that… it was easy, natural and completely out of my control at that point. It was done... I was in love. I should have told him, I should have given in to my heart and held on to Jacob with everything I had in me. That would have been the right thing to do… but I'd always been one to make life harder on myself.

I'd planned to tell him eventually, but my fear had gotten the best of me. Surely he'd seen it, the signs that said everything I couldn't bring myself to say aloud. My love for him had been written all over my face, and I'd been so sure that he could just see it, that he'd somehow known without me saying the words. But I'd never given him a reason to believe that I'd even gotten over Edward and his abrupt departure from my life. I hadn't even thanked him for healing me. The night that changed my life had been the very night that I'd planned to lay everything out. I was going to bare my soul to Jacob and tell him everything. But I'd never gotten my chance.

I'd cooked, spent the day cleaning the house… I'd even made sure to wear something a bit sexier than my usual attire of jeans and a t-shirt and I'd scrubbed, exfoliated, shaved and moisturized every part of my body that I could think of. That was the night that it was all going to happen… I was going to officially give my heart to Jacob Black that night, and more if he asked it of me.

Jacob had shown up right as dinner was being put on the table. Charlie had been working the late-shift and so Jake and I had the house all to ourselves. It was supposed to be perfect, and it had started out that way. Everything had been going so well, including our almost kiss, until Alice decided to show up and inform me of Edward's stupidity and his half-cocked plan to commit suicide - always with the drama and theatrics.

My future had disappeared and so Alice had told the family… of course, Rosalie hadn't gotten the clarification about anything and told Edward. Edward had taken that to mean that I had died. He was going to kill himself because he thought I no longer existed, though he'd been the one that had left me. He had wanted me to live a human life, and so even if I had died, isn't that what he'd wanted for me anyway?

I'd later found out that not only had he left because he thought that 'he was protecting me', but he'd lied to me. He'd told me he didn't love me and that I'd forget all about him. How wrong he'd been, I'd been so hurt, so empty… but I'd learned to function again. I'd learned to _live_ because I found Jacob, or really, he had found me.

Jake had healed me, he had made me more whole than I'd ever been… and I'd ruined it, and for what? To save Edward from a fate that he'd chosen for himself. Of course, I didn't want his death on my conscience; I did care for him after all. But why couldn't I have just told Alice to go by herself? She could have figured out how to save Edward, she could have taken the family and flown to Italy and saved him from being killed. They'd all had time to learn how to block Edward from their minds… they could have saved him without my help. So why had I been such a fool?

I gave up the best thing that had ever happened to me to fly around the world to save my ex who was hell-bent on getting himself killed. Wasn't it a well-deserved fate if that's what he chose to do? Of course I thought that now, but I'd been a fucking idiot at the time. I'd given up everything, all the progress I'd made with my new friends in La Push - including Paul, he'd been the hardest to get close to after all the times I'd hurt Jacob. I'd given up the new-found relationship I had with my dad, but most importantly, I'd given up Jacob Black, the only man that I'd ever truly, honestly with my whole heart and soul, loved.

And now that I thought about all of those things… I couldn't help but wonder if Alice and Edward had known all along what they were doing? Had they been out to sabotage my relationship with Jacob? Could they really be so cruel and conniving and… calculating?

When we'd returned home to Forks and Edward had come to my room that night, he'd asked me a question that a year ago would have had a different outcome. Things had changed since he'd left, and he was about to get a bit of a rude awakening, a side of Bella Swan that he'd never seen before. He asked me if I could forgive and love him again, if we could go back to the way things were before he'd left me. I knew my answer before he'd even finished asking… but I gave it to him anyway.

I wasn't going to hold back, I wasn't going to hide anymore… I wasn't the Bella he knew before. I wasn't _his_ Bella, I was _Jacob's_ Bella… and I didn't want to stay quiet about my own choices and what I wanted. I didn't have to…

"No, Edward, I can't," I'd said, not a bit of uncertainty in my voice. "I can't be with you or love you the way you want. I went and saved your life because it was what needed to be done, though I'm still unsure about why it had to be me. But you left me, you left me and you lied."

"I did that to protect you, my love," he sighed and came toward my bed where I was sitting, his hands reached out for me, asking my permission to hold me.

I backed away as far as I could and shook my head. "I don't want you to hold me; I don't want you to ever touch me again. I don't love you like I did before, Edward, I've changed. I love… my heart belongs to someone else and I'm asking you to please leave."

I didn't want to say those three words to Edward; Jacob deserved to hear them before anyone else. I loved, was _in love_ with Jacob Black…

He glared down at me, his mouth pulled into a sneer as he inhaled a deep, unnecessary breath through his nose. His eyes were slowing turning black and for the first time since I'd met him, I was afraid of Edward Cullen.

"It's because of him, isn't it?" he spat. "You're going to leave me for that, that dog!"

"Edward, you asked my feelings and I'm telling you, this is how I feel. Should it matter who the man I'm in love with is?" I didn't like how he was talking about Jacob; it didn't sit right with me. My anger was rising and I couldn't understand what I thought I was doing… I was fighting a vampire…

"I don't care _who_ he is, Isabella, it's about _what_ he is. He's not good enough for you, and he never will be," Edward hissed loudly, his now black eyes finding mine. "He won't be able to provide for you and take care of you the way I can. He can never love you like I can, he's going to hurt you, mark my words."

"He'd never hurt me, but you already have!" I couldn't fight against the pure, unadulterated anger rising in my voice. Did he really think money mattered to me? And how dare he accuse Jacob of such things? Jacob had never given me a reason to fear him, nor had he ever asked for me to change who I was to be with him. He didn't expect me to be someone I wasn't, and that's what I loved most about being with him. Jacob only asked that I love him… and I did, I knew that now. I only wished that he was there with me in that moment instead of Edward.

"_You_ hurt me, Edward, not Jacob. He saved me; he made me better after you left. How dare you say anything about Jacob? You don't even know him, now please, just leave. I did my part and I flew half way around the world to save your life, I left my father and friends behind to do this for you. Now I'm asking that you do this for me, just leave… take your family away again if you must, but I don't want you anymore, not like that."

He was silent for a moment and completely still. It was freaky to see this side of him. He rarely, if ever, showed his vampire side to me… but at that very moment, that's the only part of him I could see and for once my self-preservation was working, I was fucking terrified.

"I'll leave, but just remember what I told you," he said quietly as he walked to my open window. He didn't look back as he said the words I would hold with me for the rest of my life. I'd never known Edward to be heartless or evil, nor the soulless monster he'd always claimed he was, but his parting words would forever mark him that way in my mind.

"But when your pup imprints and leaves you, don't come crawling back to me because I won't take you back." And with that, he jumped from the window and I hadn't seen him again since. I'd never gotten even so much as a 'thank you' for helping him; I hadn't seen any of the Cullens either. It was like they'd never existed… again.

"All done, Bella," Angela's voice sounded in my ear and I realized I had let my memories drag me under a bit farther than I'd intended. I hadn't been asleep, but I'd apparently zoned out for the whole beautifying process. That was one secret that no one was privy to, my break up with Edward was still something only I knew the details about. I held the fear in my heart to this day that something or someone would be coming for me. The Volturi wanted me changed due to my knowledge of vampires; Victoria was still out there somewhere with her mind on vengeance, along with a very pissed off Edward Cullen. "Let me just get my coat and we can go, all right?"

I swallowed past the lump of fear that had formed in my throat as I turned in my seat and watched Angela walk down the hallway toward her room. I got up out of the chair and walked the short distance to the bathroom, my hand shaking as I reached out and flipped the light switch. I blinked a few times as the light flooded the room and waited as my eyes adjusted. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw in the mirror. My eyes grew wide and I could feel my bottom lip begin to tremble slightly. I had never seen myself look this beautiful and made up before… this was completely different from anything I'd ever done, and I loved it. Angela had made me look like a model… or at least more made up than I usually took the time to do. It was perfect.

My hair was left down; soft, loose waves were cascading around my shoulders and down my back. My eyes were highlighted just under my brows with a shimmery powder and the color of my eyes looked like melted pools of chocolate. Everything was brought together with the smoky black shadow and the winged black liner. My lashes looked thick and long and curled just right… and my cheeks were a subtle peach with a tint of something that made them glow and the final touch were my lips, they were colored with a matte pink, and they looked full and perfect and maybe even a tad kissable.

"So, you like?" Angela asked as she stepped into the bathroom behind me. My face flushed slightly and I nodded.

I loved the look, and I didn't feel overly made up, I still felt like me. Now if only Jacob would talk to me and give me the chance to explain everything to him…

"You did an amazing job, thank you!" I smiled up at her in the mirror and turned on my heel. I wrapped my arms around my friend and hoped beyond hope that this would be the day that Jacob and I finally put the past aside and could at least become friends again.

"You're welcome, Bella. Now, we've got to hit the road if we're going to get there in time. Quil said it's not too cold but you may want to at least bring a sweater or something just in case."

I tended to agree with Quil, I was always cold these days… without Jacob, my whole world was cold. I walked to my room, grabbed up my oversized black cardigan and threw it on over my outfit. I slipped on my black and white ballet flats and walked back into the hallway where Ang was waiting for me.

"Dressed to impress, Miss Bella." She smiled at me as she looped her arm through mine and grabbed her car keys from the hook by the door as we passed it. I didn't have time to think about anything else as she rushed me out the door and we were on our way. She was enjoying this way too much, but I had a feeling that things weren't going to go very well tonight. I just hoped that Quil and Angela didn't get reamed out or incur the wrath of my hot Alpha wolf for setting this up.

I fidgeted in the seat as Angela drove, occasionally humming or singing along to the songs on the radio. My palms were sweating, my head ached and my stomach felt like someone was playing a heavy hitting game of tennis in there. I was trying to stay calm, to keep my cool in the face of all that was happening or could happen, but I just didn't know what to expect. I wanted, more than anything, to believe that Jacob would see me and things would sort of be okay. But deep down, I knew…

The forty-five minute drive seemed to pass quickly, and before I knew it we were pulling up to a parking space right near First Beach.

This was where it had all started. Innocent Jacob Black seduced for information by one inquisitive and selfish Bella Swan. Of course at the time, things had been very different. Now all I wanted was to seduce him again… but for the right reasons. To get him to agree to be mine, and never let him go again - if I could even form words around him, that is.

"Snap out of it, Bella," Angela giggled softly as she shook my arm. I watched as she opened her door and got out of the car. Her eyes lit up as Quil came running up the beach toward her, his arms opened wide. She didn't hesitate, she ran into his arms, jumping slightly so they were more even in height and she kissed him. I tried to tamp down the jealous feeling of seeing Angela with Quil… it wasn't like I wasn't happy for them. I just wanted Jacob to react that way to me.

I got out of the car, moving slowly and avoiding all eye contact with the two lovebirds sharing a hot embrace just feet from me. This wasn't going to go over well, not with any of them… well, except maybe Seth and Quil. But I just knew, I could almost feel it, that this was all going to go to shit at any moment.

"Bella, it's been a long time," came Quil's deep voice. I smiled as brightly as I could and turned to look at him. He came toward me and wrapped me in a tight, warm hug. "You're even more beautiful than I remembered. It's really good to see you."

I knew what he meant… what he was really trying to say was it was good to see me _alive._ For all intents and purposes, I had been dead to most of the wolves of the La Push pack for the past five years. But now, they could all see me for themselves… heartbeat, blush and all.

"It's good to see you, too, Quil," I said softly as I pulled back from his embrace. "You make sure you take good care of her, or I'll have to hunt you down."

He laughed, a deep throaty sound that I could recall quite vividly. Quil had always been the happy joker of the group… I had missed him. I missed all of them.

"No worries there, Bella. She's got me trained already, isn't that right, baby?" he asked as he looked down sweetly at Angela.

"You're damn right, I can't have you running around thinking you can get away with whatever you want," she laughed as she grasped Quil's hand in hers. He reached back with his free hand, offering it to me. I hesitated for a moment before grasping it in my own and trudging along with them as we all made our way down onto the beach.

People stopped what they were doing and watched, looking first to Quil, then Angela… and then me. I could feel the stares as different eyes fell on me. But the thing that surprised me was that I didn't feel unwelcome. It didn't seem as if anyone was angry that I was there, and I tried my best to stay calm as some of the group started coming toward me.

"Wow, just… it's good to see you again," Sam said softly as he wrapped a protective arm around Emily. I felt as if I were a bit on display at the moment as everyone looked me over. I had changed, obviously, but they all still looked the same. Men before their time due to their phasing and rapid growth.

"Hi, Sam," I said, smiling at him, then turning to Emily, "Hi, Emily. It's so good to see you both again. You look great." Emily was obviously pregnant, and it suited her. She had a certain glow about her that anyone and everyone could see.

Paul and Embry came up to me next, and I actually got a hug from Embry. He was still as sweet and warm as he'd always been and I relished it. Jared and Kim greeted me, and then Leah and Seth came toward me.

Seth was happy, hugging me tightly to him and whispering how much he'd missed me. Leah was… Leah. She said hi, told me it was good to see that I'd stayed human, asked where 'Sparkleward' - her words, not mine, though I had to hold in my chuckles - was and then run back off somewhere on the beach. The other two, Collin and Brady, I'd never met before.

They were sweet, a bit rambunctious and loud… but they were also very young. Apparently the Cullens hadn't left soon enough, before triggering the gene in these two boys who were much too young to know of mythical creatures and death. They'd both started phasing at thirteen years old… the choking guilt began to bubble up once more and I had to excuse myself from the group for a moment.

After all the hugs and handshakes and introductions, I glanced around to see if I could find the one person I wanted to see more than anyone else. He didn't bother coming over to me like the rest of the group, instead I found him standing across the beach, his back to us. I knew he knew that I was here, he'd probably known as soon as I'd stepped out of Angela's car, but he didn't come to greet me. Everyone was somewhat happy to see me, except that lone figure that was standing a bit away from the rest of the group. His shoulders were stiff and his posture screamed animosity and he was clearly wound a bit too tight. I knew he wouldn't be happy about this, and I fought every instinct that was telling me to run away. I watched him closely as the rest of the group split up again and it seemed as if it were just him and I.

He turned toward the fire, his face highlighted by the glow of the flickering flames, and my breath caught. He was definitely all grown up. No trace of the boy I'd once known remained in his chiseled features. He was beautiful… beyond beautiful. There weren't really words for how gorgeous and sexy this man was, and I wanted him. This Jacob was all man and he was definitely a dominant Alpha now as well. I could see it, feel it, _hell_, I could almost taste it. The power coming off of him was amazing… and somewhat scary.

I watched him even closer as he took measured steps toward me, his body language was hostile and unwelcoming, but I didn't run. I would take every bit of anger he had for me if he would just come closer. I wanted to see him up close; I wanted to feel his body heat as he stood near me… I wanted to smell him. I just wanted him in whatever way I could get him…

He stopped in front of me, his arms folded tightly across his broad chest and he stared down at me. The pucker between his brows just begged to be smoothed out and the rigid stance he held was nothing short of intimidating, but still I stood and looked up at him. I soaked up every detail about him that I could see, and still I thirsted for more. I could feel the wetness of my arousal soak through my panties and I flushed as I watched him inhale through his nose and his dark eyes met mine. My heart was thundering, my palms were sweating profusely and my core was completely drenched. The things this man did to me, and he hadn't even said a word…

"What the hell are you doing here, Isabella?" he growled. His voice was deep and rough, clearly everything about him screamed anger and hatred, but still I stood. I was shocked slightly though. I had known he was upset, but he'd never, not since I'd known him, ever used my given first name.

"I-I was invited, Angela asked me t-to come along," I stuttered out as I instinctively backed up a step.

Apparently Jacob wasn't having that, because he followed me by taking another step toward me. The wind blew around us and I inhaled his scent deeply in through my nose. Everything in my world was set right at that moment as I inhaled the familiar scent of fresh pine, mint and cool spring rain… it was all I could think of and I inhaled again greedily and another flood of arousal soaked into my already drenched underwear. He probably thought I was an idiot, standing here getting turned on as he glared daggers at me.

"Jacob, I never meant to hurt you, I'm so sorry. I've tried to tell you a hundred times." I said quickly as he continued to stare down at me.

"Now isn't the time for this, I thought I made that quite clear when I hung up on you," he said bitterly. I'd never known Jacob to sound so detached, but right now there were no emotions behind his words. Well, except anger. His anger was palpable.

"You just have to let me explain," I said hoarsely. I was so close to tears now that I could feel the familiar burn behind my eyes.

"I don't have to do shit," he growled again, his arms becoming tighter around his chest and I had to fight the urge to walk a bit closer and run my fingers down the veins that were now bulging on his biceps. Instead I leaned back away from him, and again he followed.

"All I've ever done is listen to your excuses and give you chances, Isabella. I've given you chance after chance and never once did you give anything in return except hurt and heartache. You took from me until there was nothing left. You're the one that fucked this up, not me."

"But if you'll just listen, please," I sobbed, the tears now trailing hot and wet down my cheeks. "I broke things off with Edward as soon as we made it back here. I told him I didn't want him because my heart belonged to someone else. I know I made a mistake by leaving that night, but I couldn't let him kill himself over me."

"Same old Bella, trying to make it all about you." His voice was deep and angry, and it was sending chills down my spine. When it came to Jacob Black, my self-preservation was still non-existent. He was beyond angry with me and he was turning me on more than anything I'd ever felt in my life. "Well, guess what… my world doesn't revolve around you anymore. I'm not going to allow you to come back into my life and rip away the semblance of normalcy that I have now. I spent years pining for you, helping you when the leech broke your heart and I put you back together. I did everything for you… and you still left. Your apologies aren't enough, because even after everything you. Still. Left."

"I don't even know why I went. I didn't want to go; I didn't even want to be with Edward anymore. I'd already realized how completely in love with you I was. I'd wanted to stay with you but I felt guilty."

"Save your sob story, Bella. I don't want to hear it."

"Jacob, please," I cried louder as he spun on his heel and began to walk away down the beach. "I need you."

He didn't stop and he never turned around. I watched as he walked away from me and I dropped down onto my knees in the cold sand, my tears now soaking the front of my shirt and my nose was running as I sobbed openly. There was no point trying to hide it… I'd messed up and I'd truly lost Jacob. There really was no hope...

"Shh," a voice said softly as I was hefted into a set of warm arms. I knew, instinctively I knew that they were the wrong ones, but I wrapped my arms around the person's neck and I continued to sob loudly. "He's just angry, but he'll see how sorry you are. Don't give up on him."

I looked up to see Seth holding me against him tightly, his face holding so many emotions, but the clearest was pity.

"H-he hates m-me," I cried, my arms wrapping tighter around Seth's neck. "I h-hurt him too m-much."

"Trust me, Bella, he doesn't hate you," Seth said quietly, his breath fanning across my ear as he was so close. He was obviously trying to keep our conversation private. "Quite the opposite actually."

I shook my head, he was wrong. Jacob couldn't even stand to be on the same beach as me. There was no way he held any feelings for me anymore… not like he used to. Hate seemed like the closest thing to what I'd just seen.

"We're all in his head, remember." Seth's voice washed over me again, my body was becoming heavy with lethargy and I wanted to curl up into a ball and just forget that this night had even happened. But what did Seth mean? They'd seen something in Jacob's mind about me? Something that didn't include him being angry with me?

"It's okay, I'll take you to Charlie's for the night, you can sleep now," Seth said in a whisper, his voice fading slightly as my eyes drooped closed and my arms became slack around his neck. "Sleep, Bella, everything will work out."

Before I drifted off completely, I heard another whisper of sound invade my sleep-addled brain. The sound of a wolf off in the distance as it let loose a howl into the night… and it sounded so unbelievably sad, and I knew deep in my heart who it was.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you, a million times, thank you to my beta don'tcallmeLeeLee! You're awesome, bb! She also made the banner and graphics use for this story.

Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, I do not own Twilight, nor am I affiliated with any company that does own rights to any of it. The chapter title comes from "All To Myself" - Marianas Trench. I don't own that either.

*I Know You See Me*

*Jacob's POV – I Just Can't Decide What I'm Running From*

I walked swiftly down the beach; the shaking started and alerted me to how close the wolf was to the surface. I hadn't been this out of control since my first phase, and I knew exactly what was causing it. Bella had me so worked up that I was fighting to stay in control.

I ran faster, my heart was pounding out a rapid beat in my chest, and the blood was rushing behind my ears, muffling all the sounds that surrounded me. Everything except the sound of Bella sobbing from somewhere behind me was blocked out. It all felt so wrong, everything in my body was pointing me back to her, but I couldn't allow myself to fall for her words or the tears that were now falling from her eyes. She'd always been a master at playing me, making me fall to my knees in submission and offer my soul up on a platter only to have her look at me and tell me that it wasn't enough. Her love for the bloodsucker was different, stronger, than her love for me and she couldn't give him up. That had been her choice, no matter how hard I'd fought and how much I'd begged. What was the point of fighting for someone who didn't want you? So I'd watched her go, and I'd learned to live my life without her, if you could call what I did living.

I worked, I patrolled the reservation, and I occasionally went out with the guys. They'd all tried to tell me how to get over Bella; they thought I should find someone to take Bella's place, someone to fulfill my carnal desires with, and to help me forget about her. I knew that wouldn't work, but still I'd given in. I'd shared a bed with a couple women since Bella had left me, but neither of them worked out. They weren't who I wanted, and so it never seemed to last. I'd given up hope of moving on into a long term relationship with anyone, but that didn't take away my need to feel. I was a man with needs and desires, and so I'd given in to them, but there was still one problem though… they weren't her.

I missed her; I longed to feel her arms around me and her warm breath fanning across my neck as she held herself tightly against me. I wanted to be the only man that she needed or ever would need. I wanted to hold her at night as she slept, and wipe away the tears from her eyes when she was sad. I wanted to kiss her sweet lips whenever I felt like it. I wanted to take her to heights and pleasures like she'd never felt before. I wanted to feel her smooth, creamy skin slide against mine in delicious friction, hear her moans of ecstasy escaping her lips while my fingers danced along every inch of her skin. I wanted it all… but I wouldn't give in.

My pace picked up and I began sprinting toward the woods, pulling my clothes off as I went. I didn't glance back, I couldn't. It had taken every ounce of my strength to walk away from her after she said the words I wanted so badly to hear. Even after all this time, Bella had a spell over me that I didn't have the strength to fight against. One look into her eyes for the first time in five years and it had been like no time at all had passed. She was still the love of my life, the only person who would hold my heart, ever. Bella was the only woman that was made for me; there was no question about it, but I could be just as stubborn as she could be, and I wasn't going to back down from my anger just yet. I felt I had every right to be upset with her, and she'd brought this all on herself. No matter how angry I was though, she was still the girl I longed for…

The walls I'd carefully constructed around my heart cracked slightly and I had to fight not to turn back toward her as I ran over her words again and again. She loved me, she was in love with me and she wanted to be with me. But even knowing what I did now, I couldn't bring myself to give in and let her back into my life. I was a stubborn bastard, and I had to guard my heart this time.

I pushed my legs harder and felt my muscles tense, my bones snapping and realigning. I let the phase happen, I didn't hold back and soon I was running on four legs instead of two. My vision was sharper, my muscles tensed and relaxed with my movements, and my ears perked up to the broken sound of Bella still sobbing back down on the beach. I listened as she spoke the most blasphemous words I'd ever heard. She thought I hated her…

Didn't she know that was the farthest thing from the truth? I loved her more than I'd ever thought possible. She'd ruined me for any other woman; there would never be anyone else… I knew that now. I hadn't let myself move on enough to find anyone else; she was all I could see, even now. Bella had always been and always would be the girl that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. There was no me without Bella, but she'd done so many things to hurt me knowingly, I wasn't sure if there were ways of fixing this. I just couldn't let myself trust her. She'd changed her mind so many times in the past, and she'd known my feelings for her and still she'd not chosen me, not until it was too late.

As soon as Angela had pulled up, I'd known something was different. Everything in me was telling me to run, but I didn't know why. That's when I'd felt it. I'd known she was there, my body knew it, too, as soon as she'd stepped out of the car. The pull to her was like gravity and I'd wanted so badly to just go to her, pull her into my arms and tell her I missed her, I loved her and I forgave her. I wanted so badly to hug her and inhale her in a way I hadn't in much too long.

She'd been all I could hear, see and smell as soon as she'd walked onto that beach with Angela and Quil. I couldn't run… I'd been frozen right there where I stood as I'd inhaled deeply. Her scent was still buried in my nose and I knew I'd never forget it as long as I lived. I could smell and feel how much I affected her… and that knowledge was like a drug. She wanted me right there, at that very moment, and I'd been sorely tempted to take her and show her, who was the Alpha. But I'd stayed firmly planted…

She'd been turned on by me; the heady scent of her arousal had been mixed together with her ever present strawberries and cream I'd grown used to over the years. It had taken all my strength not to take her right there on the beach in front of all of our friends. Sure I was angry with her, but that didn't mean that I didn't want her. My cock had been so hard I could have cut glass with it and I'd had to turn away from her in fear that she'd see my lust clearly written all over my face, or straining against the material of my pants.

Bella had always been beautiful, but time had been very good to her… she was simply breathtaking, and I longed to tell her that and so much more. Maybe I was being a bit stubborn and ridiculous; after all, she'd apologized. But was that really enough? Was it too much to ask to see her beg for once instead of me?

I stopped at the edge of the forest and turned back toward the beach. I was at least two hundred yards from her, but I could still see everything that was happening. She was hugged tightly against Seth's chest, and she was crying. I could feel the walls around my heart split and crack a bit more as I watched her, and I knew sooner or later I would break completely. She would win, just like she always did. But that didn't mean that she didn't have her work cut out for her. She wasn't going to get me to bend yet, I was stronger than that. But seeing her so desperate, and knowing that it was all because of me tore me up inside.

I threw my head back and let loose a howl that said everything I couldn't with words. I was sad, broken and filled with longing mixed with a deep burning desire to claim what had always belonged to me... but I didn't give myself too much time to think about it, I couldn't. I'd just end up hurt; instead, I turned around, and ran as fast as my legs would carry me. I'd been the one to do the running this time… though I wasn't quite sure where I was running to. I ran until I couldn't anymore. I ran and didn't turn back...

*Bella's POV*

I awoke the next morning in my bed at my dad's house, still clothed in the same skirt and shirt from the night before. I twisted in between my sheets, stretching and adjusting my eyes to the morning light that was coming through my window. I sat up slowly, running my fingers through my tangled mass of hair. My eyes were still puffy and sore from all the crying I'd done last night and I had the start of a pretty nasty headache. Glancing around, I could feel a tiny smile pull across my lips, I hadn't been in this room for years but it still held so many memories.

I could remember very vividly the first time Jacob had jumped up into my window after he'd phased for the first time. His eyes so serious and his posture rigid, but his face had looked so hopeful. He'd gone against Sam's orders and come to see me, begging me that I remember the stories he'd told me on the beach. I'd heard every word, I'd even known what he was talking about at the time, but I hadn't been able to stop the rush of desire I felt as he stood there in front of me half naked. Jacob was hard not to notice, and it was that day that I realized that I wanted him. That was the first time I'd ever wished that I could be braver, that I didn't insist on hiding behind the wall of friendship that I'd built up around myself when it came to Jake. It was quite obvious I wanted more, but I couldn't do it, I couldn't let myself fall for Jacob and ruin what we had. No matter how much I'd wanted to touch him as he'd stood there in front of me with no shirt on, his arms flexing and his abs rippling in the most delicious of ways as he watched me… he'd watched me like he knew exactly what I was thinking about, despite all those things, I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell him how I felt.

I wanted to feel his hands on me, and his mouth against mine. I could only dream of what it would feel like to have him between my legs, feeling him move against, around and inside of me. I couldn't help but wonder why I'd never noticed before just how much I truly wanted Jacob, how much I loved him. But I'd also been beyond rational thought at that point, all I did know was how completely aroused I was and I was seconds away from pinning Jacob down on my bed and having my wicked way with him. But that wasn't what friends did, and I'd told him over and over again that I couldn't be with him. But that wasn't what I truly wanted, not anymore. Yet I'd still held him away, I'd pushed him too hard…

What had changed so suddenly? When had my feelings started shifting toward more? He'd not said a word that night about anything, but now that I thought about it, he probably had smelled me.

That thought stirred something within me and I realized I wanted him to. I wanted him to know just how much I wanted him and enjoyed looking at him. How could I have been so stupid? I'd had the opportunity to move on and be happy with a man I absolutely adored and loved more than anything on this earth, and I'd given it up because I couldn't get myself past the fact that we were just friends, not to mention the fact that I was a complete idiot and left him, but I digress.

"Bella," my dad's voice called from just outside my door. I looked down at myself just to make sure I was decent before telling him to come in. "Hey, honey, you should have called to let me know you were going to be in town."

"Well, uh… it was sort of last minute." I shrugged and I could feel the blush working its way up over my face. It wasn't a complete lie, but I didn't really want to tell my dad that I'd planned on seducing Jacob and I'd been hoping that I would end up in a different bed last night. I knew even Charlie wouldn't approve of such things no matter how much he wanted me and Jacob together.

My dad knew all too well about my fallout with Jake and he'd been pretty upset about it. I'd made a mistake, and I'd told him as much but that didn't really help smooth anything over. What had really cracked Charlie's usually calm demeanor was when he found out I'd hurt Jacob to chase after Edward Cullen. That was the final nail in the coffin, so to speak.

Charlie had known all along - and told me as much – that Edward was no good, that he would break my heart and hurt me. He also had known that Jacob and I were meant to be together. I'd of course passed all that off as wishful thinking for both Charlie and Billy. They'd always wanted Jake and me to end up together, and I'd given it no real thought or merit. But the saying is true: Your parents really do know what they're talking about.

"Well, it's good to see you, you want some breakfast?"

I nodded and stood up slowly, my head was still aching pretty badly and I didn't want to risk falling flat on my face or ending up in a heap on the floor tangled in blankets. "I'll be down in a few, okay?" I said softly as I made to walk to the bathroom. I needed a few minutes to compose myself, as I probably looked like hell.

"I'll be downstairs then," he answered and then I watched as he turned and walked down the stairs and out of sight.

I walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind me, leaning back against it and scrubbing my hands over my face roughly. I was a mess, both physically and emotionally and I had to get myself together. It wouldn't do me any good to continue on this way. I'd messed up and Jacob and I were beyond fixing. No matter how true that seemed at the moment, I couldn't help but think about how good Jacob had looked last night. He was still gorgeous… the sheer size of him had been enough to make me weak in the knees, but it was the look in his eyes that had made me want to run to him and never let go. The light that had always been in his eyes was all but extinguished, and I knew it was my fault. I'd broken Jacob beyond repair this time, and I was a complete selfish bitch for doing that to someone as wonderful and beautiful.

I would make him see that I'd been wrong, I'd fix this. Even if he didn't want me anymore, I had to fix him and make him see that the world wasn't bad - only I was - so he could be happy again and that light behind his eyes would shine once more. I could do that; I could fix him just like he'd fixed me. I was pulled out of my internal musings by the sound of Charlie hollering up the stairs.

"Bella, there's someone here to see you."

I could feel my nerves building. Could it be Jacob?

I was once again remembering everything about him from the night before. Everything about him screamed Alpha male and dominance... and I wanted it. I wanted him to hold me down and take what he wanted from my body. I wanted him in any way I could have him. Just thinking about him made my girly bits tingle and throb with want.

"I-I'll be right down, dad," I choked back and ran to the sink. My reflection was scary. I looked washed out and sallow, my eyes were extremely red and bloodshot with puffy dark circles underneath. My hair was sticking up everywhere and tangled while my face had eyeliner and mascara marking my cheeks like ink blots.

I grabbed a washcloth from the small rack over the toilet and wet it. I scrubbed my face clean, taking care around my swollen eyes and then grabbed the brush and started yanking it through my long locks. I hissed in pain a few times as I caught a particularly bad knot, but I managed to make myself look a bit more presentable. I didn't have my toothbrush with me so I put a bit of toothpaste on my fingertip and worked it around over my teeth and tongue to rid my mouth of the retched dragon breath I was sporting and then rinsed quickly. Looking back in the mirror, I couldn't help but roll my eyes, _this_ was as good as it was going to get…

I opened the door to the bathroom and made my way down the stairs carefully, my eyes searching the living room before they settled on a broad set of shoulders and a long, lean set of legs. My heart stuttered for a moment before I realized they weren't the ones I'd been hoping for and I felt my heart drop into the pit of my stomach. I swallowed thickly and plastered on the best smile I could muster before I called out to him.

"Hey, Embry, what's up?"

He turned toward me and smiled, his eyes lighting up in the way Jake's hadn't and I felt my heart plummet a bit more.

"Mornin', Bella, you look like hell," he said as he looked me over. "I'm just checking up, it was a rough ending to the night last night and I wanted to make sure you're alright."

I wanted to tell him exactly how fucked up I actually was. I wanted to tell him that I couldn't breathe right now that Jacob wasn't in my life and how I couldn't shake the cold I constantly felt inside me. I also wanted to tell him that I was still in danger of becoming a vampire Slurpee in the foreseeable future, but instead I just said: "Yeah, rough night, but I'm okay."

I watched as one of his eyebrows cocked slightly and his smile faltered. He knew I was lying… and as if to cement it, he came toward me a bit closer and dropped his voice to a whisper and said exactly what I knew he would. "You're lying, I can _smell_ it, _hell_, Bella... it's written all over your face."

"Look, Embry, I appreciate you coming all the way over here to check up on me, but I'm fine. I messed this up and I don't know why I expected things to end differently than they did. I was a fool to even go last night, but I was so desperate to just see him one more time," my voice cracked then and the stinging behind my eyes flared back up with a vengeance, but I continued. "He's all I can think about, all the time. He's in my dreams, my waking moments… he's everything and I gave him up when I walked away from him. I don't blame him for hating me, because I sure as hell hate myself for what I've done. He's the best thing that ever happened to me… and I've lost him."

Embry wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug. The heat was comforting and familiar, but the scent, height and the arms themselves were all wrong. It didn't matter though, because I wanted the comfort, so I wrapped my arms around him and held on as tight as I could while I let the dam break and the tears began to fall once more.

"Bella," he whispered against the top of my head. "He doesn't hate you, not even close. He's just angry and upset that you left and it really fucked with him. He's hurt, even after all this time he's extremely hurt… but he doesn't hate you."

"I know I hurt him, and I wish I could take it all back. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn't have gotten into that car, I would have gone through with the rest of my plan that I'd had that night and told him how much I loved him," I sobbed brokenly, my tears soaking into Embry's shirt. "I had plans that night, I had it all worked out how it was going to happen. I was going to give myself to him that night in whatever way he wanted. I was ready."

"Did you tell him that? Did you explain what that dinner was all about?"

I shook my head even though he couldn't see me, I knew he felt it. His chin was now resting on the top of my head and his hands were rubbing soothing circles on my back. I felt safe and warm for the first time in five years. Even though it wasn't Jacob holding me, Embry was my friend and I knew he wouldn't let anyone hurt me. I thought for a moment about telling him what happened when I did go to Italy and the ultimatum that now lay before me. I wanted him to know everything…

"Em, c-can we go somewhere and talk? I need to tell you everything that's happened," I whispered as I pulled my face out of his chest and looked toward the kitchen where I could hear Charlie whistling along with the radio. I could smell the coffee and the scent of waffles and bacon hit me like a ton of bricks and my stomach let out a loud rumble. "After I get something to eat."

Embry let out a soft chuckle and grasped my hand in his as he tugged me toward the kitchen. Charlie didn't comment on my tear-streaked face nor did he say anything about my hand being clasped in Embry's as I piled my plate with food, he simply smiled, poured me a cup of coffee and went back to reading his paper. I was thankful for the silence and I ate quickly as I thought over how Embry would handle what I had to say to him. I knew as soon as he phased again, Jacob and the entire pack would know everything I had said… but maybe that was a good thing. They needed to know that there was a risk of the Volturi coming here. They had a job to do, protecting their people and their land from vampires… and I owed them at least that information so they could do their jobs efficiently.

Of course, Victoria was out there somewhere still as well, and she knew exactly where I was. I wouldn't put it past her to attack those that I love just to flush me out to exact her revenge. Charlie wasn't safe, and neither were the pack… Everyone I held close and dear was in danger, and so they needed to know about all of the information I had about her as well.

And then, there was Edward Cullen, the man I'd once thought I'd loved and now feared. I didn't know exactly what he might do or how he may go about it, but I just had a feeling that even though he'd left that night as I'd asked, it wasn't the end of things. He wasn't finished with me or my wolves… that much I was sure of.

"You ready to go, Bella?" Embry asked from beside me, his hand gripping mine a bit firmer. I looked over to him and nodded, but not before I caught the look in his eye. He knew… he knew something wasn't right and he was sitting rigidly in his seat, his eyes wide and he was shaking slightly.

"Yeah, come on. I'll be back later, dad, Angela may be with me and we can have dinner together before we head back to Port Angeles," I said in a rush as I scraped my chair back over the linoleum and stood up quickly, my hand still clasped in Embry's shaking one.

Thankfully, dad didn't look up from the paper, he simply mumbled a, "Yeah, sure, Bells. Have a good day."

I tugged Embry's hand and we walked toward the front door, his eyes darting rapidly around the room and I could hear him snuffling the air like he was expecting something or someone to jump out at us. His instincts told him something was wrong, and he was right… I just didn't know where our troubles were at this very moment.

We didn't speak again as we drove toward La Push, Embry's eyes never leaving the road or the area that surrounded it. He was focused, and so I didn't bother him. I could hear the growls coming from his chest and I could see his knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering wheel of his truck tightly in his fists. I could almost feel the anger rolling off him. He was a hunter, he was lethal and completely capable of killing me… but I felt safe. That was one thing I knew in my heart, the pack would never hurt me, even though I'd hurt one of their own.

We pulled up in front of Sam and Emily's house and I saw the front door open. Sam walked out clad in the usual pack attire of cut-offs with Paul and Jared close behind. I hopped out of the truck and stood watching, waiting for Embry to make a move. His breathing was harsh and his eyes were frantic and I was afraid for him. What had I done? And why weren't we going to see Jacob? He was the Alpha, after all…

"What's wrong with him?" Sam asked as he and the others walked toward the truck, their eyes searching mine as they waited for me to answer.

"I don't know exactly, we were at my house, and I was eating breakfast and I was just thinking of some things that I need to tell you guys when he started shaking," I answered honestly. I had no idea what happened, I didn't even know exactly what was wrong with him.

I looked over as I heard the other door to the truck open and shut, Embry was standing there, the shaking finally subsided enough that I almost couldn't see it anymore. He looked to me and then to his pack brothers and whispered one word so quiet that I almost didn't hear it, but that one word threw into perspective exactly what had happened back in my father's kitchen and I felt the tremor of fear tingle down my spine. The one word that could bring my world crashing down around me floated from Embry's lips, and I felt the air leave my lungs.

"Vampire…"

As the word left his mouth, everything around me faded completely, my world washed in a sea of black and I heard no more.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you to Cat (Rhodes11) aka Kitty, and October Skies aka Shamika for beta-ing and pre-reading this chapter for me! I appreciate it and much love to you both!

The chapter title comes from "Jar of Hearts" - Christina Perry

*I Know You See Me*

*Bella's POV – I've Learned To Live Half A Life*

I was swimming in a pool of blackness. I was completely surrounded by and engulfed in the infinity of inky dark and there was no way out. It was endless, stretching on as far as I could see. The emptiness I felt here was scary, hollow and cold. I longed to feel the warmth and happiness that I knew existed out there somewhere. I kept moving forward, toward something that I couldn't yet see. It was then that I heard a whisper coming from somewhere before me; it started out soft but it began to get louder and louder as I frantically swam to get closer to whatever it was. My eyes closed and I felt my body getting heavier and heavier like I was being dragged down by a lead weight. I was going to sink and drown in this place. But I wasn't going to give up; I had to find a way out… I just had to find the place where light and love and warmth existed.

"Bella," a voice said softly, I could feel the hair around my face and ear move with a slight breeze. It was warm and comfortable and so very welcome and I felt my eyes twitch. I was surrounded by sounds now, muted voices that sounded panicked and a bit on edge and I wanted so badly to get out of this dark place. "Come on, Bella, wake up."

My eyes twitched again when I felt a hand move across my cheek, fingers lightly tracing a path across my skin in another comforting gesture. I was close to the place that I longed for, so close…

"Jacob," I whispered softly, my lips wrapping around his name like a sacred and cherished prayer. I remembered something crucial, the reason I felt so alone and broken. I'd hurt Jacob, that's why I felt cold and empty. I didn't have my Jacob anymore. This place was my own personal version of Hell… cold, empty and without Jake. "Jacob, I love you."

My voice cracked slightly and I could hear the sound of someone crying, the noises of heartbreak and crying echoed all around me. The sobs sounded so broken and they were completely pure and heartfelt… _these_ tears were meant for something. They were being cried for a reason.

It was a few minutes before I realized that the sounds were coming from me, I was crying out my heartfelt plea for Jacob and his forgiveness. I was crying for everything I'd ever done to hurt him, and with each tear that slid from my eye I also felt my body becoming lighter as I swam through that endless river of black. These tears were the most honest thing I'd ever felt in my life; these were all for Jacob and the pain I'd caused him, and I let them pour out of me as my first act toward moving forward. Jacob Black would never feel pain because of me again, _ever._

"Bella, shh, it's all right," the voice whispered near my ear again, the feeling of warm fingers once again tracing across the skin of my cheek. "You have to wake up now."

My eyelids fluttered once more and I could see a crack of light, my body feeling almost weightless as I got closer and closer to the light and warmth that I could feel surrounding me. My eyes finally opened, light filtering in in the most beautiful array of colors. I turned my head slightly and it was then that I saw russet skin above me and I felt my hand lifting toward the face that was there. My eyes began to adjust and my hand stopped just before my fingertips made contact with that familiar russet skin.

I tried hard to hide my disappointment, but I was sure I failed miserably. It wasn't my russet skinned man that sat over me.

"Hey, welcome back, honey," he smiled down at me in a brotherly way, his brown eyes looking me over as if he was worried of hidden injuries. He was a wonderful friend and person, but it wasn't his face I'd been hoping to see when I opened my eyes. "We were worried about you."

"Thanks Sam, you're always saving me, aren't you?" I asked quietly, trying my hardest to smile at him but I know it came out more like a grimace. "Someone is always saving me, especially from myself. I'm all right, just got a bit of a shock, I'm sorry," I whispered and tried to sit up slowly, my head aching a bit and my hands were shaking as I remembered why I'd had my little episode. _Vampire_… there was a vampire back in Forks. I'd known it would happen. I had just figured that I had more time to prepare, and to warn the wolves of what was to come. How could I have been such a fool? I should have made them aware long before now, but I had failed. I had kept my secret for too long, and now it was too late.

My mouth felt dry as fear enveloped me. This was it; they'd found me. Whichever vampire that was going to end my life had finally caught up with me. I glanced around nervously, trying to find the one face that I wanted to see at this very moment. Where was Jacob? Not that I blamed him for staying away, but I really just wanted to see him before I became my vamp-friend's refreshment.

"W-who was the vampire, Embry?" I asked as I turned my head looking around for him. My eyes finally met his and he leaned toward me on the couch, one of his hands grasping mine.

I watched him as he looked around at the rest of the people in the room, his face betraying nothing, and then his eyes settled back on mine, his mouth pulled down into a frown as he spoke.

"It wasn't a scent I recognized, Bella," he answered and gave my hand a squeeze before letting go. I could feel the fear building inside me; a scent they didn't recognize could mean only one thing… the Volturi.

I sat up quickly, my hands clutching at my chest as I felt my pulse sky-rocket. Tears started to well up in my eyes and I coughed as a sob ripped its way from my throat. This was it… the end. I sniffed loudly and I let the tears fall, but I looked straight at Sam and said the words I'd been holding inside for far too long: "I know who's coming for me," I whispered through my sobs. "I've known for so long that they would come and get me, but I couldn't bear to put my issues on you all and I'm sorry. I've endangered the pack and everyone else."

"Bella, you don't know that they're here for you," Sam tried to reassure me, but he was wrong. I knew the truth. I was still a danger magnet, the girl who attracted the supernatural like a damned beacon. I knew.

"Sam, when I went to Italy to save Edward, the vampires there, the Volturi, told me that I was either to be changed or I have to die. I have no other options; I'm not supposed to know about vampires and their existence without paying the price. They're here to collect the debt I owe." The tears continued down my cheeks and my hands were now shaking harder as I clasped the material of my shirt. My heart felt like it was going to burst at any moment from working so hard and I could feel the dizziness settling back over my brain like a thick fog. "If it isn't them there are others that are out for me, out for my blood. Victoria, the red-head that was hunting me after Edward left is still out there somewhere and she wants me dead, too."

"No, no, Bella," Sam interrupted as he pulled my hands away from my chest, his head shaking back and forth. His warm thumbs were tracing small circles on the back of my hands and I could feel a bit of my fear ebbing away with each circuit he made over my skin. "We killed the red-headed leech a couple years ago; she's no longer a threat."

My eyes closed tightly as I sobbed a bit harder… Victoria was gone? Oh, God, Victoria was dead and gone… The pack really did care about me; they'd hunted her down even after I'd left. But that meant Jacob had protected me too… _again_.

"She's gone?" My voice was no more than a whisper, but I knew they'd hear me.

"Yes, Bella," Embry answered this time, his voice soft and comforting. "She's gone."

"Thank you, t-thank you all," I stuttered as I tried to calm the tears and my rapid breathing. I opened my eyes again and looked around the room. They hadd killed Victoria. But that still left two possibilities of who'd been close to my house. There were still vampires that wanted me… and I knew who they were. But it couldn't be Edward; Embry had said that the scent wasn't familiar. Edward could have asked someone to watch me, someone the pack didn't know. But more than likely it had something to do with him. They should still know the possibility was there and what had been said when I'd told Edward I didn't want him anymore. I knew in my heart that Edward Cullen wasn't done with me… not by a long shot.

"There's still the Volturi that want me… but there's also someone else that it could be."

From the corner of my eyes I saw Embry, Jared and Sam sit up straight, their eyes searching my face as I inhaled a deep breath through my nose. The tears were gone now, but I could still feel them burning behind my eyes, waiting in anticipation for me to lose my shit once again. I'd never been strong, but this was fucking ridiculous. I had to be stronger than this; these people deserved that much after all they'd done for me. I had to be strong and fierce…

_I had to fight._

"Tell us what happened; we can protect you, Bella," Paul said as he walked toward the rest of the group that was crowded around me; his arms were folded very Jacob-like over his chest and his body language was quite hostile. He and the rest of the guys that were in the room with me were all tense and ready to spring at any moment. I'd never been anything but trouble to these guys, but they still wanted to protect me.

Just as I was about to tell them everything I knew, Quil and Angela burst through the door, his back just as rigid and tense as the rest of them. He stopped feet in front of the couch, his arms wrapping protectively around Angela's middle and he looked right at me.

"I got here as soon as I could, what's going on Bella?"

Jacob and a few of the other wolves still weren't here, but I supposed the ones that were here could fill them all in later. So with that final conclusion, I started to tell them all what I knew and what I feared most was going to happen. I told them that Edward Cullen, the vampire I'd once felt safe with and had at one time loved, was now the person I feared most in this world… the Volturi scared me, and I knew in my heart of hearts that I didn't want immortality or the façade of a life that I would lead if they did take me away. I had plans now; I wanted to live my life as a human and get married and have babies… I wanted my wolf. But the fear of being taken away by the Volturi wasn't anywhere near the fear I felt about Edward and what he may do.

He hated the wolves, he'd never kept that a secret, and he knew I loved them. He'd come back and he was going to find a way to get me back, no matter what he had to do to achieve that goal. He'd never given up something he wanted, and I knew this time would be no different. I was now Edward Cullen's ultimate prize. I was his prey… and he would hunt me down until he got exactly what he wanted.

"Wait," Sam's voice thundered through the living room as I finished telling them everything I knew. My confrontation with the Volturi and my subsequent breakup with Edward and everything I'd felt and heard that night. Everything was on the table now, and I waited for them to tell me to get the hell out of La Push and never come back…that was exactly what I deserved. I'd brought far too much danger to these people and sooner or later they'd see just how dangerous I was.

"Cullen and his family haven't been seen around here for years Bella; it could just be a nomad passing through. I don't think we should jump to conclusions or point fingers." Even as he said the words I could see that he didn't believe them. This wasn't random or a nomad; this was planned out. But whoever it was had known I was back in Forks. The question was – how had they known?

"Sam, come on," Jared spoke up. "You know as well as the rest of us that it's a little too much of a coincidence – like all of a sudden Bella comes back and now there's a vampire, too. It's not random or a nomad."

"I'm with Jared, something is off about this whole thing," Quil agreed. "There's no way it's random. I don't fucking like this."

"Okay," Sam said with a firm nod of his head. "First then, we need to alert the rest of the pack. Jacob should be here to plan the strategies and patrol schedules. Paul, go phase and get our Alpha back here and make sure to get Leah and the rest of the group up to speed while you're at it."

Paul nodded once, stripped his shirt – that he'd put on at some point while I'd been out of it – off and walked toward the front door unbuttoning his cutoffs as he went. I turned my head back toward Embry and Sam and felt the blush cover my face and chest as Paul did his thing; they simply smiled at me and shook their heads. No modesty in a house full of wolves.

Emily brought some clean clothes over to me and offered me a small smile. "They should fit," she said softly, her free hand rubbing firm circles on her lower back. I wondered how far along she was; it was obvious she had a bit of discomfort but she still looked radiant. I found myself feeling a bit jealous before I swallowed that back and smiled up at her. "They're my pre-baby clothes, though they may be a bit long."

"Thanks, Emily," I said earnestly. These people were just too amazing and good for words. I stood up slowly, my legs still a bit wobbly and my head still swimming, but I was okay. "Can I use your bathroom?"

"Of course, Bella," she smiled again as she grabbed my empty hand in hers and pulled me along down the small hallway toward a couple of doors. She reached inside one of the small rooms and flipped the switch and I watched as light flooded the tiny but nicely decorated bathroom. "Take your time and make yourself at home. I'm going to go start on something to eat so when you're finished just come find me in the kitchen."

I nodded and smiled at her before she walked back out of the room, leaving me standing there in an unfamiliar house full of wolves and I was going to take a shower… Yikes.

I closed the door behind me and turned the lock before setting the clothes Emily had leant me down on the sink. I didn't even stop to look at myself in the mirror; I simply leaned down and turned on the water in the bath, waiting until the temperature was just right and then flicked the knob to turn on the shower. I stripped out of my dirty clothes, making extra sure to ball my dirty underthings into my skirt so they weren't just laying out for all to see and then hopped into the warm water. The feeling of the warmth on my skin made me think about Jacob again, and I had to shake my head to clear those thoughts away. It wouldn't do for the other supernatural beings in this house to smell the evidence of what was going on in this bathroom. Thoughts of Jacob would just have to wait.

The events of the day had finally caught up with me and I pondered all of it as I let the water run over my filthy hair and face. A vampire was hunting me, stalking me at my father's home. It's like they knew where I would be and when I would be there. Then to top that off, Jacob still couldn't stand to be around me. I knew he and the pack were going to protect me just like they always did, but knowing Jacob couldn't be mine was slowly ripping me apart and killing me piece by piece.

My heart and body ached for Jacob. I needed him. I was once again on the radar – or menu – of a vampire that obviously knew where I was. It wouldn't be hard to get to me if they wanted me bad enough. Embry had said he didn't recognize the scent, but I had a fairly good idea who it was, and I also knew that he wanted me for his own. It may not have been Edward at my house that morning, but it all came back to him in some way. I was his singer, and I knew that no matter what I did or where I went he'd always find me, and he'd never let me go. He'd said as much when he'd told me that I was his drug. He was addicted, and that meant I'd never be free of him.

This wasn't right; I wanted to live. I wanted a life with a husband and a family and the house with the white picket fence. I wanted my Jacob. But no matter how much I wished all of this was over and I could move on, it would always be there to come back and haunt me. But I wasn't the only one who could be hurt; Jacob and his pack were in danger because of me. My actions from the past were back to bite me – both figuratively and literally – and I found myself scared and shaking again; my breathing became a bit more frantic and my vision began to swim as dizziness tried to pull me under. Why did this always happen to me? I could feel the choking sobs working their way out of my chest and I had to close my eyes and lean against the cold tiles to keep myself upright. I was scared, beyond scared, that something would happen to someone I loved.

A pounding sounded on the door followed by a voice that sounded absolutely frantic. "Bella, its Seth." When had he gotten here? "Are you okay? Bella, answer me!" The pounding was sounding farther away as the blood rushed behind my ears. My heart was racing and the sting of tears was nestled behind my eyes. I was turning into a fucking crybaby, and to top it off, everyone in the house knew what was happening to me inside this tiny room. I had to be stronger than this; I wasn't going to pass out again… no. I had to prove that I was strong and that I was determined to fight against whatever this was. I inhaled deeply through my nose slowly and held myself still against the wall. My pulse slowed, the tears receded and the blood behind my ears was now calm and silent. "If you don't answer me, I'm going to have to come in there and get you."

"I'm f-fine, Seth," I choked out with embarrassment. I really didn't want Seth, my brother for all intents and purposes, seeing me naked. "Really, I'm okay now. I was just panicking a little bit."

He didn't answer, which had to be a good sign, and so I started scrubbing and washing as quickly as possible. I didn't enjoy this shower as much as I probably could have; instead I just cleaned up and got out. I had to see Jacob; I had to tell him how sorry I was, again, for bringing this down on all of them. That was all I felt lately was remorse for things I had done and I was beginning to hate the feeling. It was good to know that I had a conscience and that I took responsibility for the hurt I'd caused Jacob when I'd walked away from him, but I wasn't so sure that all of this was entirely my fault. Edward had pulled me into his life, he'd forced my hand when I'd had to go to Italy, and he'd brought me into the world of mythical beings and the things that went bump in the night. Surely he shared some of the responsibility and fault for all of this as much as I did. Edward was just as selfish as I was, maybe even more so. But who was I to point fingers and place blame? I was just the fragile human girl that didn't know when to run away, and now my friends, family and the man I loved were going to pay the price for my stupidity and selfishness.

But maybe they didn't have to. After all, I'd escaped Jasper and Alice in Phoenix when I'd thought my mother was in danger. There had to be a way to get the attention solely on me and take the danger away from everyone else. I could figure out a way to get away from the reservation and the wolves. They deserved to live their lives away from all of this and my bullshit drama, and if I couldn't have Jacob again, then I'd make damn sure that he and his family and pack were all safe. I'd do anything for him, and if this was the only thing I could do, then so be it.

*Jacob's POV*

I was running patrol just on the far side of the reservation when Paul's thoughts began flooding my mind. I saw Embry telling the guys about the vampire scent at Charlie's house that morning. I watched as Bella passed out, caught just seconds before she hit the ground by Sam. I watched as Bella had woken up calling out my name and the tears that streaked her face. I could smell her anguish and her disappointment through Paul's memory when she'd opened her eyes and Sam had been there and not me.

It was a bittersweet feeling knowing she really did want me. The walls around my heart were still cracking and crumbling, but I still wasn't ready to forgive her. I'd spent too much time letting Bella use me and walk all over me, and I wasn't going to let her back in until I was sure that she was going to stay. I had to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she wasn't going to ever leave me again.

_"We need you back here, Alpha,"_ Paul's voice sounded in my mind; he was deliberately trying to keep some of his thoughts private, I could feel it. He was hiding something. My hackles rose and I growled deep in my chest. The Alpha in me didn't like secrets, especially right now when I knew there was a leech around and it apparently had its sights on _my_ Bella.

_"What are you hiding from me, Paul?"_

_"I think it's better if you hear the rest from Bella, she needs you."_

_"I can't do that. You know that I can't be around her right now,"_ I growled loudly; my voice took on the Alpha timbre and I could feel rather than see Paul's body shaking under the sound. All it would take is one order, one order and he'd sing like a fucking canary.

_"I know you're still upset with her. Fucking hell, Black, so are the rest of us, but this is important and I think it's time for you to talk to her."_

_"Yeah, well you know what I think? I think you should keep your opinions to yourself and go to Charlie's and see if you can figure out where the leech went."_ I was being a complete dick, and I knew it. But I really didn't want to have this conversation right now. Bella had managed to throw my world back into a tailspin, and she'd only been back in my life for two fucking days. This girl was going to be the death of me. _"And I want Charlie here on the rez until we can figure this shit out, am I clear?"_

_"Crystal,"_ he snarled back as I watched him run toward Forks. He wasn't going to give me the information he was hiding, not willingly anyway. I'd just have to find out what it was some other way. Paul was a stubborn fuck, but he was a good man, a strong fighter and a loyal friend and I wouldn't Alpha order him to tell me anything. I could be an asshole sometimes, but I wasn't going to take my pack's freedom away.

_"What's all the snarling and growling for?"_ Leah's voice sounded in my mind. Her snide bitchiness hadn't faded over the years, if anything it'd gotten worse, but it was because she was a fierce woman who knew that what we did could one day mean someone's death if we didn't keep our heads clear. She made a terrific Beta, and she was very protective of all of us. Leah had become our den mother, so to speak - always looking out for us. The one thing about her that had changed was she was no longer bitter about Sam and Emily; she had accepted it and moved on. She was living her life and she was happy. Now if only I could be so lucky.

Three years ago Leah had met Noah Trenton, a well-off bank manager from Boston. He was a nice guy, well-spoken and extremely fun to hang out with. He had relocated to Port Angeles, Washington to open a new branch on the west coast when he'd run into Leah at the grocery store of all places. They met, began dating not long after and fell in love. They had recently just gotten engaged and were ready to settle down and start a family. And I had to be the one to break it to her that there was a vampire back in town so she would need to keep phasing for a while longer.

I knew Noah would understand; he had been nothing short of wonderful to Leah since he learned her secret. Leah hadn't wanted to keep it a secret from him, after all, he'd get suspicious about certain things sooner or later, and like a certain danger-magnet girl I knew, he'd taken it all in stride and accepted that Leah shifted into a giant wolf and hunted vampires. She introduced him to all of us, informed him that if he didn't like the fact that she was who she was and that she constantly hung around nine other guys then he could kindly just keep his fucking mouth shut and leave before she got too close (her words, not mine). He hadn't even needed to think about it, he'd simply hugged her, told her he loved her no matter what and that was that.

Apparently Bella Swan wasn't the only person with no self-preservation.

_"So?"_ Leah huffed, her agitation working its way into my thoughts and causing me to become even more on edge than I already was.

_"There's a leech. Embry scented it at the Swans' place this morning."_

_"That girl really does have a thing for attracting monsters, doesn't she?"_ Leah asked coolly. Her calm was setting me more on edge than her anger and agitation. _"Guess we'll have to hold her hostage here on the reservation for a few days, huh, Jake? And then you can put all your shit behind you and move on with Bella, finally."_

I fought against rolling my eyes. Was she fucking serious? What was going through that mind of hers anyway?

_"Maybe it's time you make nice with your girl and show her what she's been missing. Dominate her real good. Fuck her so thoroughly that she forgets that walking popsicle even exists and then live happily ever after with a bunch of your puppies running around. That's all, the end."_

_"Leah, sometimes I worry about you,"_ I scoffed loudly, this time not suppressing the eye roll. The answer to my problems with Bella was most definitely not sex, and leave it to Leah to be sarcastic... _bitch_. _"My problems are not going to be solved by giving her an orgasm."_ No matter how much I wished that were the case. I would love to feel Bella wrapped around me and writhing beneath me in pleasure, but that wasn't going to happen.

_"Say what you want, Jacob, but I know just as well as you do that that girl needs a good tangle in the sheets, and not just because she got herself stuck in them. Anyway, it goes way beyond that, you love her, she loves you, it's written on both your faces. So, get over your shit and claim your girl, Jacob. She's not going anywhere this time."_

Okay, who the hell was this person and what had she done with Leah Clearwater? This was not the conversation that I'd come to have with her, and my sex life - or lack-there-of - and failed relationship with Bella was not up for discussion. No matter how much I wanted a life with Bella and to be able to tell her every day for the rest of our lives how much I loved her and adored her, things weren't that simple. Bella hadn't given me a reason to trust her and she most definitely hadn't earned my friendship back.

There were obstacles she had to overcome to earn my love. The biggest obstacle was in the form of the brick wall I'd built up around my heart, and though it was cracked a bit and less than perfect, it was still strong and resilient and would stand through this storm. I wasn't trying to be a jerk, but I couldn't trust Bella Swan with my heart. I was done – that's what I'd told myself, over and over again I'd fought my feelings for her since she'd come back into my life – I knew it was futile, but still I fought.

Two days, two fucking days and she had me realizing that I wasn't as sure as I had been. I was losing the fight and had I known what was going to happen after Charlie's party, and that Bella had a stupid plan up her sleeve, I would have done more to keep her safe. I'd have made sure that she couldn't leave and put herself in danger. I'd have risked myself a bit more for her sake and told her how much I loved her still, because whether I wanted to admit it or not, I was slowly falling, and there was no amount of fighting I could do to stop it.

If only I'd known that she was going to sacrifice herself to keep us all safe…


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you to Cat(Rhodes11) aka Kitty, October Skies aka Shamika for beta-ing and pre-reading this chapter for me! Love to you both!

Chapter title comes from "Fade Away" - Breaking Benjamin

*I Know You See Me*

*Bella's POV – Slow I Suffocate, I'm Cold And Broken*

I'd finished dressing, and I was pulling a comb through my wet hair when another knock sounded on the bathroom door.

"I'll be out in just a minute!" I hollered as I glanced back at my reflection once more. This was what needed to be done. Jacob and I weren't going to be together, so I had to get the danger away from him and the rest of the pack. This would be the most selfless – or possibly the most selfish – thing I'd ever done. I couldn't quite decide which it was, but I knew that I didn't have any other choice. I wouldn't allow Jacob to be hurt because of me.

I set the comb down on the sink and turned toward the door, my hand that reached out for the door handle was steady and sure. I knew this was right. No matter what else happened, I was going to be the one to save Jacob's life this time. He would never, ever know pain and suffering because of my selfishness… at least, that's what I told myself.

I opened the door and ran smack-dab into a wall… a big, tall, muscular wall that once again wasn't who I wanted it to be. I really had to stop thinking he'd come around me; he'd made it quite plain that there was nothing left between us.

"Still as clumsy as ever I see, Bella." Quil chuckled as he gripped my shoulders to steady me. I wasn't nearly as clumsy as I'd been before; it was simply due to the fact that these supernatural men I was surrounded by could move like ghosts – completely silent unless they wanted you to hear them. It was a bit disconcerting how quiet these huge wolf men actually were.

"Not really," I sighed heavily as I took a step back and glanced up at Quil. He was smiling, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. I suddenly felt nervous. Did they know what I was planning to do? _They couldn't…_ "I'm actually quite capable of walking all on my own now, in heels no less," I offered, trying to ease the tension I suddenly felt in my shoulders. My palms began to sweat and I found myself staring down at the floor now instead of up at Quil. I didn't like meeting someone's eyes when I was trying to be sneaky or tell a lie. I was the worst liar alive; that hadn't changed.

Quil didn't say anything about my avoiding his stare; he simply laughed and threw his arm around my shoulder. I let him lead me – not that I had much choice in the matter considering he outweighed me by like one hundred pounds – to the living room where most of the pack was still congregated. I could smell the scent of muffins and bacon wafting from the kitchen and my stomach let out an embarrassingly loud grumble. The men all looked up at me and chuckled as I felt the ever-present blush spread over my face and chest. I still hated being the center of attention.

"Emily's waiting for you in the kitchen," Sam said as he tried to stifle the laugh that was obviously trying to work its way out of his mouth. "We left you some food."

I nodded and ducked out from beneath Quil's arm. My heart was still thudding a heavy rhythm behind my ribcage and I wondered why none of the guys were confronting me about what was making me nervous. Maybe they thought I was just nervous because there was a vampire around. Sure, that was partly true. But it had a whole lot more to do with the fact that I was going to give myself over willingly to aforementioned vampire so I could keep my wolves safe. I wanted Jacob to be happy, and to live his life the way he deserved before I had come back and started fucking everything up again. Edward would stop at nothing to get me back away from the La Push pack – he'd never hidden how much he detested my friendship with Jacob – at any cost.

"Bella, you look a bit more refreshed," Emily said softly as she pushed her chair back from the table. She stood slowly, her hand once more finding its way to her lower back, and walked to the stove where there was a plate full of eggs and bacon. She also put a giant muffin – lemon poppy by the looks of it – on the plate and walked back toward the table. "Come, sit with me and eat. You must be hungry."

I smiled at her, she'd always been more than welcoming and warm when it came to me and I really appreciated the kind person that she was. I sat down across from her and picked up the fork that sat there. I stabbed a forkful of eggs and paused just before I put the food into my mouth, my eyes meeting hers momentarily.

"Thank you, Emily."

The words seemed insufficient considering the shit that all of these people had gone through since I'd come into their lives. It wasn't just what was happening now that made me a nuisance to these people. When Jacob had brought me to the reservation after Edward had left me, I'd brought danger in the form of a psychotic vampire along with me.

I knew that I owed them all more than a few nice words – but what else could I offer them right now? I started taking small bites of the delicious food, my eyes still focused on hers as she began talking.

"It's really not a problem, Bella," Emily said with a smile. She really was a beautiful girl; the scars from the accident with Sam didn't hinder her beauty in the least. "We haven't had a vampire problem since the redhead. Sam and the rest of the pack are on edge about the whole thing. They're all very worried about protecting the reservation, especially if it's Ed- um, well…"

"It's okay to say his name," I said as I cleared my throat and put my fork down. "Edward is a part of my past, and it doesn't hurt to hear his name anymore." I was more frightened of the fact that he was close by, I just knew it. Somehow I could sense that it was him and that fact scared me even more. If Edward Cullen was the one hunting me, _everyone_ should be scared.

"Okay." Emily nodded, her eyes suddenly falling to the worn tabletop. She started picking at the wooden surface with her fingernail as she cleared her own throat a few times. What was she thinking about? I didn't have to wait long to find out. "You know it's him, don't you? Why would he want to hurt you? He loves you, right?"

I left my food relatively untouched, my stomach flopping uncomfortably as I thought about how to answer Emily's question without giving too much away.

"Well," I started, my voice sounding much stronger than I'd anticipated, "he was quite adamant about the fact that he could never love anyone besides me. Vampires don't like change – of any kind. So because he thinks I'm his mate, he will not let me go."

"Wait a minute, what do you mean, he thinks you're his mate? Aren't you?"

This wasn't something I'd talked to anyone about before; it was a bit too confusing to explain really. Edward was never my mate – he wouldn't have been able to leave me, let alone refuse to turn me. How do you tell someone about the complicated one-track mind of a bloodthirsty vampire?

"No, we were never mates." _Well, that was a start._ It would actually be nice to have someone to talk to this about. Emily was someone that knew the ins and outs of mates and the like – someone that had firsthand knowledge. "He only thinks he's in love with me. I don't even know for sure if I ever truly loved him at all. I think it had more to do with the fact that it was forbidden and he wanted me. For him though, I think it's more about my blood."

Emily nodded and pushed my plate toward me again, urging me to eat. I ignored the food and continued on with the conversation instead. I wasn't completely sure I'd be able to hold the food down anyway with the way my stomach was flopping and churning.

"I'm his singer, you know?" Her eyebrows rose a bit and she shrugged her shoulders. Obviously she didn't know what that meant. "My blood is more potent to him than anyone else's. I think he wants me so badly because I would satisfy the demon inside of him – _in every way_."

It almost hurt to admit that part after all I'd been through because of him… but it was the truth.

"Like I said, they don't like change, and I didn't take him back like he wanted me to. He was sure that we could put it all behind us, but I'm a selfish bitch – I wanted Jacob instead even though I'd practically ripped his heart out – and I told Edward I couldn't be with him because my heart belonged to someone else."

She stared at me, her mouth hanging open slightly as she ran a hand through her hair. Maybe she didn't know quite what to say to my little revelation, but I could only imagine what she was thinking about all of that. It was the first time I'd admitted out loud to anyone how I truly felt about the situation with Edward. I'd always thought it would be Jacob I'd tell these things to, but he still wasn't exactly welcoming or open to having conversations with me.

"So," I half laughed, half sighed, "the reason I believe that it's Edward coming for me… is because he doesn't want to lose out on my blood. Even though he's a quote, unquote, vegetarian, he can't fight the monster inside forever. Not when it comes to me. He's been stringing me along – playing with his food, if you will – and now play time is over."

Emily fidgeted for a moment before she leaned across the table and grasped my hands in hers tightly. Her eyes were shining with tears and her bottom lip was quivering as she tried to hold in her sobs. What did I say to upset her so much? Now I felt bad.

"Oh, Bella," she said quietly, her eyes glancing up over my shoulder toward the doorway that led to the living room. "If that's how you felt all this time, why did you go and save him? Why didn't you just come straight to Jacob or even Sam if you feared him so?"

That was a good question, and it was one I'd asked myself too many times to count. The answer was actually quite simple, though it had taken me until after getting back from Italy to realize it.

"I was fooled by two _'people'_ who I believed cared about me. They played off my fears and I stupidly fell for it, leaving behind the possibility of a life outside of vampires and eternity. They wanted me to leave Jacob behind."

"They knew you would feel guilty about Edward, and so they played to your insecurities and kind heart. Oh, Bella, how could they be so, so… _evil_?" Emily was positively seething by this point, her normally calm and beautiful face was turning beet red and her hands were shaking. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was close to phasing. I'd seen this reaction so many times from the pack and I felt terrible for causing such stress on the woman in front of me.

"I'm not kind; I'm just as selfish as they are," I said softly. My eyes began to burn with the threat of tears, but I knew deep down that I _could_ be strong. "I don't even know if the rest of them were involved, though I honestly don't believe they were, except maybe Alice. What I do know is Edward was always so controlling when it came to our relationship. I wasn't allowed to do anything unless he said it was okay. I never want to be that way again, Emily. I want to be better – good, selfless. I want to be the girl I had started to become when I was Jake's Bella. He made me see that I could be strong, and happy. I could just be myself with Jacob, and that was enough."

"You're still Jacob's Bella. You made a mistake, but you've learned from it, right? You won't be making that mistake again."

She was absolutely right, if I ever got the chance to rekindle any sort of relationship with Jacob, I would make sure he knew how much I treasured every moment - if I lived through my plan.

"Bella, he is and always has been in love with you. And no matter what you think right now, you are a kind and loving person. Edward knew what he was doing – manipulating you the way he did – and he's a very bad, evil, selfish person for what he did to you."

"I let him do it. He was thousands of miles away, Jacob begged me not to go, and I still let Edward control me."

"When I think about what you've been telling me, it just," Emily paused, her face still red with anger. Her eyes found mine again as she tightened her grip on my hands. "It makes me so sad to know that evil monsters do exist in this world, but more than that, it makes me angry. My husband and his friends have to take on responsibilities that they shouldn't even have to worry about. They risk their lives…"

"It's going to be alright." I tried to sound convincing, but I still had doubts about what the turnout would be after all of this. I was making empty promises, but I would fight with all I had in me to turn this around and take the danger back away from La Push and the innocent people that called this place home. I let go of her hands and started to pick at the breakfast that sat cold and mostly uneaten in front of me.

"I'm not going to let anything happen to anyone here, you have my word on that. I brought this down on myself and I will face the consequences of my actions. I'll be leaving soon, and then whoever it is that's hunting me will follow."

Emily stared at me, her mouth agape as she pondered my words. I watched her eyes widen as she glanced over my shoulder at the doorway.

"You'll stay right here on the reservation until we're sure it's safe for you to leave." I turned quickly in my chair, and faced the beautiful and imposing form of Leah Clearwater – but something was off. She looked positively… jovial.

"I can't stay here, Leah!" I fought the urge to jump to my feet – Leah was a force I dared not take on by myself. She was fierce, strong – everything I wasn't.

"I have a life in Port Angeles, and I don't think I'm very welcome here."

Leah's smile widened and her eyes shone with mirth and mischief. What was going on here?  
"Alpha's orders, Swan," she chuckled as she glanced at Emily briefly. "Can she stay here, Em?" I didn't hear a response from behind me, but I saw Leah nod once so I assumed Emily's answer was affirmative.

"I'm not staying, Leah! Are you not listening to me?"

"Jacob says you are. Care to take it up with him?"

"He won't even talk to me!" I spat. My anger had finally boiled over and I stood from the table, knocking my chair down in my haste. Leah stepped in front of me, her smile still firmly in place and I couldn't help but want to slap it right off her face. "I don't have to do what he says, I won't stay here. You can tell your _Alpha_ that I refuse!"

"That's not going to happen," Leah chuckled again, her eyes positively glowing as she stalked forward. I felt the heat coming from her body and the smell of her skin – oranges mixed with cedar – permeated my nostrils. She was so close to me, and still I stood my ground. For once in my life, I wanted to do the right thing. I wanted to be the one to save the people I cared about – even if that meant that I would meet death at the end.

"Your father is coming down tonight for his birthday party." _Shit, I'd completely forgotten about my dad's birthday… more than that, I had forgotten that Charlie had been left alone at the house with a vampire._

"Oh no, the vampire at my dad's house – we left my dad there. How could I be so stupid?"

"Calm down, Paul's been with Charlie for a while now. Jacob is good at his job, he would never leave Charlie unprotected." Leah's stance in front of me was just as intimidating as Jacob's – she definitely threw off dangerous vibes. "And you will do this one thing you're told and stay safe and hidden right here until we can neutralize the threat. Is that quite fucking clear?"

It was obvious that Leah was leaving no room for argument. Her body was shaking now, her anger palpable and rolling over me in waves as she inched closer. It was almost as if she was daring me to fight back.

"I'm not part of your pack, he can't order me around. Besides, it isn't up to you all to protect me anymore."

She sneered, the previous mirth all but wiped away from her face. What the fuck was I doing, trying to argue with Leah about anything? I knew they were trying to keep me safe, but it wasn't up to them anymore. I wasn't a pack member, and I sure as hell wasn't an imprint. What did it matter if I went against their orders?

"Stop being a goddamn martyr, Swan! After everything you've done to Jacob, you owe him this much!"

My mouth snapped closed and my eyes found Leah's. She was absolutely right, I did owe Jacob this much. I knew I owed him more than this one thing, but it was the least I could do at the moment to appease him. And so for tonight, I would stay on the reservation and do as I was told. But that didn't mean that tomorrow I wouldn't find a way to escape.

"Fine, I'll stay." My voice was quiet, but I knew she'd heard me. I took a few steps back away from Leah and looked up at her. The shaking had stopped and her face was once again composed and beautiful – her smile bright as sunshine. I'd just been fucking played like a game of chess – _check_ and _mate_. Oh, she was good!

"And that," she laughed loudly, "is why I'm Jacob Black's beta. I know how to get the results I want – no matter what I have to do to get them. And when my Alpha wants something done, I do it."

I fought the urge to huff and stomp my feet like a child. I could hear snickers coming from the next room and I knew… they'd all been in on this. I'd been effectively cornered and coerced, and there was nothing I could do about it now. The pack was cunning and I'd fallen prey right into their trap.

_Well played, Leah Clearwater– well played indeed._

*Jacob's POV*

I once again looked up over the rim of my cup and met Bella's stare. I could feel her eyes following me from across the room and I was fighting every instinct to rush over to her and make sure that she was okay. Embry had been with her, sure, but a leech had been near _my_ girl. All I wanted to do was take her to my room, smother her with my scent and never let her leave again, but I stood as far away from her as I could handle and watched her as she interacted with the rest of the guests.

Charlie's fiftieth birthday party was in full swing at my house. The pack, along with Emily and Kim, Angela and Bella, as well as Charlie, my dad and Sue Clearwater were all packed like sardines into my moderately sized four bedroom house. I'd built this house – with a lot of help from the guys – three years ago. I had gotten permission from my dad to build on a plot of his land, close by in case he ever needed me. I had poured my sweat, blood and tears into this home with the hopes of starting a family here one day. That dream had been pushed aside and was now collecting dust. There was only one person I could have that future with.

All I cared about right now was that Bella was here, with me, and she was safe. There was a definite tension in the air due to my close proximity with her, but I would suffer for tonight to make sure that she was all right. Once this vampire situation was taken care of, she could go back to her own life in Port Angeles and I could get back to being able to breathe. She was so close to turning me back into the pathetic fool I'd once been that it was almost comical… _almost_.

No one really came over to talk to me; they knew my mind was otherwise occupied as I watched Bella. I circled the room slowly, stalking her every move. I watched as she laughed at something Quil was saying, throwing her head back in her laughter. I followed her as she walked over to Charlie. They hugged, whispered words of "Happy birthday, dad" and "Thanks, Bells". I couldn't stop watching her throughout the night, but I never approached her. I knew I wouldn't have the strength to turn her away if I gave in and talked to her. The wall I'd built up around my heart was crumbling; it was only a matter of time before it was left as only a pile of rubble.

As Bella mingled with the rest of the guests, I walked over to Charlie and threw my arm around his shoulders. He'd always been like a second father to me and I wouldn't have missed this for the world – no matter how awkward it felt.

"Happy birthday, Charlie."

"Thanks, son. How are things going at the garage?" he asked as a slight blush worked its way up his cheeks – like father, like daughter. I knew how they _so_ loved being the center of attention.

"Things are good, thanks. That's kind of why I came over here. There's something I need you to take a look at." I was beyond excited to give Charlie his gift. I'd put a lot of hard work into it, and I knew he would love it. The man had worked hard his whole life, providing protection for the people of Forks and sometimes La Push. This was our way of saying 'Thank you'.

He nodded and followed me as I walked through the crowd, out the front door and stopped just outside the three car garage. I reached into my pocket, pushed the button to open the door in front of me, and prayed that he would accept the gift that I'd worked so hard on. As the door slid open, I could hear the crowd of people as they gathered in the garage – this was, after all, a gift from all of us in a way.

"Charlie," I said as the door opened the rest of the way, revealing the crowd of people all standing around the candy apple colored, fully restored classic car I'd been rebuilding for the past year – the '66 Shelby Cobra 427. "We all love you and appreciate everything you've done for us as a cop, a friend, and to some of us, a second dad. This is our way of showing you our appreciation. The guys and I rebuilt it from the frame up, we hope you like it."

Charlie looked between me, the crowd and the car – his eyes filled with tears and his hands clenched at his sides. Maybe it was too much?

"Thank you, all of you." He finally spoke, his voice choked with emotion. "This is amazing. Are you sure you want to give me this? I mean… it's beautiful, but it's just…"

"We're more than sure, chief," my dad said as he wheeled himself forward. "After all you've done for us over the years this is the least we can do. Besides, I want a chance to ride in it."

Charlie chuckled and walked toward the car, running one of his fingers over the hood. He stopped, looked back at me, and smiled brightly.

"Can I take it for a drive?"

I laughed, the sound echoing through the garage as I reached into my pocket again and fished out the key. Just as I tossed it to him, my eyes caught the sight of Bella as she made her way back into the house. I had to talk to her; I couldn't put it off anymore. We had to at least bury the hatchet and let the past lie.

I watched as Charlie got into the car, and started the engine. Sam and Paul got my dad situated in the passenger seat as I moved aside. I heard the car shifting into gear, and before we could blink, they shot forward, making their way down my driveway and off into the night.

"Okay people, back yard bonfire!" Sam hollered. The group started to disperse out toward the back lawn, and Sam met my eyes. "Go talk to her, Jake. It's time."

I could only nod as I made my way into the house, following the scent of Bella through the rooms. She wasn't anywhere downstairs, so I slowly made my way up to the second floor, my eyes scanning each room as I passed it. Finally, at the end of the hall – my bedroom – I could hear soft sobs coming from inside. The door was slightly ajar, so I pushed it open and walked in, taking in the sight of Bella Swan, the girl I had been in love with for as long as I could remember, lying on my bed.

"Bella," I whispered softly, as not to frighten her. "Are you okay?"

No matter how much she had hurt me, no matter how much it pained me to admit it… I couldn't be away from her anymore. Not when I knew it to be right.

"Oh, Jacob," she sobbed as she sat up. "I'm so sorry, so very sorry. I love you and seeing you tonight, seeing how you are with my dad and with everyone else around you… How could I be such a fool? I hurt you so much, so many times."

I walked into the room, my hands shaking with nerves as I tried to swallow past the sudden lump that had formed in my throat. Was this really it? Was I going to let the past go and move on? Was I finally going to have Bella as my own – the way it always should have been?

"You deserve so much better than me," she said, her voice cutting into my thoughts. "You're so good, and kind – everything I'm not – and I broke you. So, for the first time in my life, I'm going to do what's right."

_What was she saying?_

"I know now why you can't forgive me, because I see it every time I look in your eyes. The light, the sunshine and warmth that used to be there – it's all gone, because of me. I killed a piece of you, and for that, I'll never be able to forgive myself."

"Bella." Her name was like a prayer coming off my lips, once again I couldn't fight the pull to her – she was everything. I couldn't deny these feelings, the desire to tell her how much I needed her, how much I loved her.

"This is it," she whispered. "I know now what I have to do to make this right. Thank you, for everything you've ever done for me and for my dad. I know you care for him as much as you do for your own father. He needs you, loves you like you're his son. But, Jacob, I can't stay here and see you when I know in my heart and in my mind that I can't have you."

I watched as she stood up, her body outlined by the moon as it filtered in the windows. She walked to the door, and I sat there like a statue, knowing exactly what she was doing.

"This is good-bye, Jacob."

And with that she walked out of my room, and back out of my life.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you so much to Cat(Rhodes11) aka Kitty and October Skies aka Shamika for beta-ing this chapter! You gals rock my world! Thanks so much to don'tcallmeleelee aka Stella for my banner and graphics! The chapter title comes from 'Sooner or Later' - Breaking Benjamin and the story title comes from 'Fallout' - Marianas Trench

I don't own anything, it all belongs to the rightful owners, I just play around and bend the characters to my will...

*I Know You See Me*

*Bella's POV – Your Scream Is Burning Through My Veins*

I ran as fast as I could, my legs carrying me down the stairs, out the front door and to Angela's car faster than I had ever moved before. My lungs were burning, now matching the tell-tale burn behind my eyes as tears threatened to start back up. I was walking out on him; I was doing exactly what I had promised I would never do... I was hurting him all over again.

I didn't want to leave, not when Jacob was finally making an effort to speak to me, but I had to carry out my plan – regardless of what I wanted. I had actually forced myself into believing that this was the right thing to do. I wanted so badly to be the one to save the ones I loved, to be the hero of the story for once – and I was going to get myself killed in the process.

I started the car, putting it in gear and I looked ahead of me, ready to drive off. As I turned on the headlights I let out a loud scream, my eyes meeting with the seething stare of the last wolf I wanted to have a confrontation with right now – a very fucking pissed off Paul Lahote.

He stood there in front of the car shaking, his fists clenched tightly against his sides. He looked like the scariest predator I had ever seen. I couldn't move; I don't think I was even breathing anymore as I watched him walk to the open driver's side window.

"Where exactly do you think you're going, Bella?" he growled loudly, the sound reverberating around me in the enclosed space of the car. "You're not supposed to leave the Rez, Alpha's orders."

"I-I have to l-leave," I stuttered, my fists tightening around the steering wheel as I readied myself. I was going to leave whether they wanted me to or not. I focused back on the road in front of me and without thinking about what I was doing, I slammed my foot down on the gas pedal. Rocks flew up behind me as I tore down the driveway and toward the main road that would take me away from everyone I loved. I watched as Paul shrank in the distance in the rear-view mirror.

My body didn't stop shaking, even as I pulled up in front of Charlie's. I had to grab my cell phone; it was the only stop I would be making before heading out to Port Angeles. I ran into the house, my eyes adjusting to the darkness quickly as I made my way up the stairs and toward my bedroom. The quiet stillness of the house was unsettling and as I reached the top of the landing – my hand reaching out for the knob of my door – the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. I couldn't quite place why I was so scared, but it was almost like I could feel a cold breath work its way down my neck and settle just under my skin.

I had to do this, though. I had to get away from here as quickly as possible, and then the danger would never find its way back to the pack.

_Funny how after you lie to yourself enough, you can believe almost anything, isn't it? I'd convinced myself that after the vampire took what they wanted from me, that they would leave my friends and family alone. Stupid._

I turned the knob, and it was then that I heard it. It was so quiet – almost too quiet – the sound of music drifting from my room. I pushed the door open and focused my ears and my eyes as much as I could. The moonlight flooding through the window illuminated bits of the room, and I could see that the window was opened – wide and ominous. The haunting tune of my lullaby drifted from somewhere in the small room and I whipped around trying to find where it was coming from, but I was shaking too hard to focus on much of anything. I walked toward the bed, my head swimming and my palms sweating - the overwhelmed feeling hit me all at once. I was so close to passing out, then I stopped cold.

There, spread all over the top of my bedspread, were pictures. All of the pictures that Edward had taken from my room when he had left. They were all there, covering my bed like another blanket, but they didn't bring comfort or a sense of nostalgia, instead my heart began pounding a frighteningly fast rhythm and my throat grew uncomfortably dry.

All of the pictures were torn in half – Edward looking as beautiful as he always had – and the sides that held the frozen images of me were covered in – Was that _blood?_ Oh, God… I had to get out!

I didn't hesitate; I turned on my heel and snatched up my cell phone off the dresser. Shoving it in my pocket I sprinted from my room and started down the stairs. I had reached the fourth step from the bottom when that inexplicable cold seeped down my spine once again and I lost my footing. My right foot went out from under me and I went down – hard.

The air whooshed from my lungs as I landed, my leg throbbed as well as my wrist from where I'd tried to catch myself and my vision swam. As I tried to breathe through the pain and steady my pulse I saw a flash of white at the top of the stairs. I didn't have time to think about what I was doing or what was going to happen to me. I got up, trying my best to ignore the pain in my leg and my wrist, and ran out of the house. I reached Angela's car; with a whole lot of effort I was able to open the door and get in. I started the car, punched it into gear and sped away from the house as fast as I dared. I couldn't bring myself to look back, because I already knew… someone was following me…

*Jacob's POV*

I sat in my room, wringing my hands and staring at the doorway like a fucking loser. I lost all track of time and forgot about the guests that were outside. I forgot about Charlie and the fun that I had been having while being surrounded by everyone that I cared about.

I forgot, because none of that mattered, nothing mattered anymore. Bella had left me… _again._ When was I ever going to learn that the girl just didn't know what was good for her? I knew she wanted me, she'd admitted as much to me just moments before she'd walked away. So what the fuck was going on?

"She left!" Paul's voice boomed. "She fucking left!"

"I'm aware, thanks for pointing out the obvious, Lahote," I sighed heavily as I finally snapped out of my funk. I looked at my pack brother and became acutely aware of just how close he was to phasing. _Not in my fucking house!_ "Get out of here if you're going to lose your shit."

I heard footfalls coming from the stairs and watched as Leah appeared behind Paul. She calmly patted his shoulder, told him to take it outside and we both watched as he turned on his heel and made his way down the stairs. I listened for the ever-present temper tantrum door slam, but it never came.

Leah cleared her throat, bringing my attention back to her as she sat on the edge of my bed. She was extremely calm and composed considering everything that was happening right now. I didn't even know where to start at the moment, but apparently that was all right because Leah started speaking.

"You're just going to sit here and let her get away from you again? She's on a fucking suicide mission, Jacob – being the martyr is what that girl does best. So what are you going to do about this shit?"

"Leah, I don't need you to bitch me out right now, okay? Bella was quite plain tonight – she told me good-bye. I won't be the one that caves and runs after her – she's made her choice."

"Enough with the cry-baby routine, Black, seriously!" she hissed. "When has Bella Swan _ever_ done what's best for her? She's gone to fucking sacrifice herself. I heard her talking to Emily earlier, and I thought she was just spewing random bullshit – talking about taking the danger away from the Rez – but I was wrong; she was serious. Now get the fuck up, pull on your big boy pants and go set that girl straight before she gets herself killed!"

Wait – _what?_ I knew Bella could be stupid at times, but she couldn't be serious. Even Bella couldn't think that she could take on a vampire by herself… could she?

"What the hell are you talking about? What did Bella say?" I was seething now; how fucking dare she take herself out of my life and set out on some stupid mission that could get her killed? Was she really convinced that everything would stop if the leech got her? Did she ever think about how the people that cared about her would feel if something did ever happen to her?

Did she for even one second think about Charlie, Renee… _me?_

"Spill it, Leah – I need to know everything you know, _now!"_

"She was talking to Emily about how Edward wasn't going to give her up – something about her blood singing to him or some shit – and she just knew it was him that's after her. Then she slipped up and said if she left the Rez that the danger would follow her. So, what are you going to do about it?"

I thought about it; was I going to run away from my people to save Bella when she was the one that decided all this shit on her own after all we'd done to try and keep her safe? My blood was boiling – Bella Swan; martyr and the bane of my existence. How fucking dare she do this… how dare she?!

"You know what; if that's what she wants to do, I'm not going to stop her. I'm done fighting. To think I was actually going to put myself back out there for her!" Leah didn't even flinch as I started screaming. I jumped to my feet and started pacing the length of my room. This pissed me off more than anything ever had – even her little trip to Italy. I couldn't do this anymore; I wasn't strong enough to have my heart and soul ripped away from me again.

"If she wants to get herself killed then that's what's going to happen. How dare she come back into my life just to rip herself back out of it! Fuck! Fucking fuck! Selfish! Unbelievable!" I wasn't even talking in complete sentences by the end of it; I was simply screaming out words and continued pacing.

I was in love with the stupidest, most selfish girl in the world. She didn't think before she did things, and now she was going to get herself killed because she thought that she was protecting me? Didn't she realize that this was exactly what I was born to do? I was born to kill vampires – happily! And I was also in love with Bella Swan – vampire bait extraordinaire. I was born to love her – made just for her in every way. She couldn't face this on her own… and I couldn't let her, no matter how angry I was with her.

"I love her, damn it," I whispered. Leah sat quietly, not even smiling now. My eyes met hers and I whispered again. "I need her; I can't fight against it anymore. I can't let her sacrifice herself, and the pull is killing me, Lee."

"How have you fought it this long, Jacob?" she asked softly.

"I don't know," I admitted. It had nearly killed me – literally – when Bella had walked away from me, and staying away from her was even harder after that. Five long years denying myself the one thing I knew to be right – because I was as stubborn as Bella fucking Swan! All because I was angry that she had left to save that bloodsucker. She had broken me, nearly killed me – but damn it if I didn't still love her more than anything. I lived and breathed for that girl.

"As much as it hurt me, Sam gave in and Jared didn't fight it either," Leah said quietly, not a bit of malice in her voice. "You can't fight the pull of your imprint – so go to her, tell her everything and shake her until she wakes up from her delusional bullshit. You're the strongest person I know, but even you can't fight fate, Jacob."

Leah was right – except maybe about the shaking part – I had to get Bella back. No matter how mad I was at her for pulling this stunt, I had to go and get my imprint and never let her go again. And the vampire that was hunting her was as good as dead! I had to fight for her, even if that meant fighting Bella herself to get her to see that she was mine.

"I have to go," I said quickly. I stripped as fast as I could, tying my clothes to my leg as I turned toward the open window of my bedroom. Without waiting to hear if Leah answered, I flung myself over the sill, phasing in mid-air and ran as quickly as possible toward Port Angeles and to my imprint – _my_ Bella.

*Bella's POV*

I couldn't stop shaking the whole drive, and as I pulled up in front of my apartment and shut off the engine my hands were vibrating to the point that I dropped the keys on the floor of the car.

"Shit!" I hissed nastily as I got on my knees on the pavement and rooted around under the seat. My fingers wrapped around the key ring, but as I pulled it forward I saw something else under the seat. My hands began to shake harder as I pulled the tangled mass into the light and I could feel the blood in my veins run cold.

The dream catcher Jacob had given me for my eighteenth birthday was snapped into pieces and had tangled with the car keys. It had been in my room back at Charlie's and now it was here…

"What the fuck?"

"Such language," a voice tsked from behind me. My blood ran even colder as I registered that voice, but the familiarity did nothing to comfort me. The voice that had once brought me happiness and made me feel warm inside, now only brought emptiness, cold and the knowledge that I was about to die.

"You know, I do believe the short amount of time you've spent with those _dogs_ has rubbed off on you," he hissed. "They will never come near you again, my sweet, not after you have become like me."

I fought against the cold that continued to seep into my bones and shakily got to my feet, the broken pieces of the dream catcher still clutched tightly in my fists. I turned toward him, and I could feel my heart double its pace as I took in the sight of him.

"Hello, Edward," I said quietly, my voice sounding much stronger than I had anticipated. "Fallen off the wagon with your diet; I bet Carlisle is so very disappointed with you."

"I am sure he would be most disappointed with me, yes," he whispered as he closed in on me. My back hit the car, and Edward's breath fanned across my face, causing goose bumps of fear to break out all over my skin.

"But I must admit, I care little for what my family may think about my diet. I now live with others of my kind – where I don't have to hide what I am. I am free to do as I please, I am a king and I get everything I want. And what I want..." his breath once more fanning across my skin as he leaned toward me, running his nose in the crook of my neck and inhaling deeply, "...is you, Bella."

"You're not the one I want, Edward," I said softly, my voice still strong and unwavering. His eyes turned colder, lifeless as he glared down at me.

"Do you really think I care what you want, Bella? You're mine, end of discussion," he said as he grabbed my arms tightly. I could feel the bitter cold of his marble-like skin seeping into me, and the emptiness inside of me spread deeper into my bones. The tips of his fingers were digging into the soft flesh of my arms, and I whimpered as he tightened his grip even more.

"You are quite delusional if you think that your precious mutt would take you back after all the times you've hurt him. Though I applaud your efforts, you played your part well. I did not expect it to be so easy," he laughed, a dark and hollow sound that I had never heard from Edward before. "Much to my dismay, my beloved family found out about my... intentions toward you, and they were less than happy about my behavior. When I found out about the imprint between yourself and him, I knew I had to get you away from him for good."

"What are you talking about? Jacob didn't imprint on me." I was totally confused, Edward had officially lost his fucking mind. Jacob would have told me… right?

"Oh, Bella," Edward laughed again, his grip tightening even more on my arms, "he never told you? This is just too perfect. He did imprint on you, I can assure you of that. I have read it in his mind. He probably never told you because you hurt him so much – so many times."

I deserved to be alone – even Jacob fought against his imprint on me because I was so selfish. I had been so stupid; Edward had played me perfectly. I had hurt my soul mate, and now I was going to die when I should have stayed on the Rez where I was safe – in the arms of the man I loved more than anything.

"Jacob was so shattered when you came to Italy to save me, Bella," Edward continued, his voice still empty and his eyes still boring into mine as if he were trying to see inside of me. "That was the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back. You were so concerned for me; it broke him to see that you still cared for me after all I had done to hurt you. And poor Alice, she honestly thought I had gone to the Volturi to kill myself."

"You're a part of their coven now? That's why you went there?" It made sense; Edward was a prized vampire with a gift. Aro had wanted him and Alice, but Alice had declined their offer. Little did we know that Edward had already joined them. He had even played his family…

"How could you do such a thing to your own family?"

"They were all trying to hold me back. After I first met you, I just knew I had to have you," he growled and gripped my arms a bit tighter, I felt his nails digging into my skin now and the scent of copper hit my nostrils. "I wanted so badly to drain you that first day in Biology; I was going to kill the entire class just to get to you. You are mine, and I will have what belongs to me. No one will keep you away from me – not even my own family, and especially not Jacob Black."

His eyes fell to my hands then and he snarled as he let go of one of my arms and grabbed the remains of the dream catcher. He untangled the keys from it and I watched as he closed his fist around the wood and string, the sound of crunching and cracking as the wood splintered. He opened his hand; a smirk plastered across his lips as the dust of the wood floated into the night air. The strings that were left drifted to the ground. My heart dropped as I watched, wishing I hadn't left the reservation and Jacob's side.

"Let's take this conversation inside, shall we?" he grinned again as he whipped me around, slammed the car door and he pushed me ahead of him toward the door that lead to my apartment. He knew everything, where my apartment was, what door was mine, what key to use… how long had he been watching me? I didn't say anything; I just marched ahead of him into the apartment as he closed the door and switched on a light.

"Angela will be home very soon," I lied, breaking the silence. My arms were throbbing from where Edward had grabbed me and the sting behind my eyes alerted me to the tears that were very close to the surface. I was scared – terrified really – about what Edward was going to do now. We were alone and closed up inside my apartment. He was so close to me now, too close. The feel of his body near mine made bile rise into my throat. He was too cold, too hollow – not the Edward I had once loved – and he definitely wasn't my Jacob.

"Hmm, you always were a very bad liar, Bella," he whispered as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled my back against his chest. "I know Angela is in La Push with her dog. It's just you and me, and I plan to show you all the pleasure you have been missing out on since you sent me away."

"Please, don't do this," I choked out as he used one of his hands to move my hair to the side and he tucked his face into my neck. "I don't want you to touch me like this, Edward."

"Isabella," he cooed as he turned me toward him, his eyes searching mine and the familiar smirk pulling across his lips. He looked like the Edward I had once loved – except the crimson irises that were even more unsettling now that I was this close to him. "You and I, we are destined to be together. You're my singer, my _La Tua Cantante_ – it's fate."

"N-no, please," I sobbed, the tears making their escape as he leaned closer to me. I could taste his breath as he brought his lips toward mine. I could only think of one thing, and so I whispered the only word that mattered to me at that very moment. "Jacob."

That stopped him in his tracks and his eyes snapped to mine once more. The crimson of his irises faded away to black as my pulse picked up speed. This was it…

"What did you just say?" he hissed, his lips brushing against mine as he said each word.

"Jacob," I answered. I pulled back away from him as much as I could. The tears continued to fall as I thought about Jake. I had left him, left the safety of his arms to come here and do what? I left him to sacrifice myself, but I now knew Edward wouldn't stop at just me. He would kill everyone I loved even after I was gone. He wasn't the man I thought I knew; he was cold, evil and soulless. He was a monster, and I'd walked straight into his tangled web of lies, deceit and anger. There was no escape, so I looked straight at him and said:

"I love Jacob, and I'm prepared to die for him."

Edward then threw his head back and laughed – that empty, hollow sound. "You think that because you are ready to die for him that I won't just kill him, too – and his whole pack of mutts?"

"I know you'll do whatever you want, even after I'm gone. You'll kill and suck away every bit of happiness and joy – because that's what you do. You're a leech, and you really are the monster you always warned me you were. I just never saw it until it was too late."

Edward didn't even blink; he just leaned toward me and grinned again. "And to think, I was prepared to show you undeniable amounts of pleasure, but now I think it's just going to be a painful death for you."

Before I could blink, he had me pinned against the wall of my living room, plaster raining down around me as he hissed and brought his mouth to my neck. I felt the nip of his teeth, but he didn't break my skin. He inhaled deeply once, I closed my eyes, preparing for the pain and the burn, but it didn't come.

"Don't touch her, Edward." I knew that voice, but it couldn't be. "You don't want to do this."

My eyes snapped open and I met the last sight I had ever expected over Edward's shoulder.

"Ja…"

But before I could finish, I felt a sudden pain and my body crumpled to the floor as Edward released me. A crash sounded and I could just make out my big picture window shattering as Edward escaped and three bodies hovered over me as my world faded to black.


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you to my lovely Betas: Kitty aka Cat(Rhodes11) and Shamika aka October Skies! I love you girls so much, and I appreciate everything you've done, all the hard work to help me get this chapter out and the support! Also, Kitty, thank you for the banner - still loves it!

Chapter title comes from Ever After - Marianas Trench, I don't own any of the characters or songs used. Thank you for reading and being so patient with me on this chapter, I hope you enjoy it!

*I Know You See Me*

**Jacob's POV – Don't You Pull Away From Me Now*

I ran as fast as my paws would carry me. Nothing else mattered to me at that very moment except getting to Bella as quickly as possible. I had been stupid to let her walk away from me – foolish to believe that I could just let her go. I should have known better than to let her leave; Bella had never been very smart when it came to doing the right thing for herself. It wasn't even about me at this point – though she had pretty much ripped me apart and left me to bleed out and die. This was about Bella and keeping her safe. She was mine to protect, and I would do my job. I would _never_ fail her again – no matter what.

All the time we had wasted and all the unnecessary hurt and pain; for what? All because we were stupid and stubborn, and I couldn't place all the blame on Bella. It was my fault, too. I had kept something important, something vital and life changing from her. I knew what was going to happen, deep in my heart I knew…

I'd kept the imprint a secret; she would be hurt, maybe even devastated. But, she had hurt me, too. We were always hurting each other – it was just what we did. We were made for each other, but because we couldn't be honest and just let our relationship become what it was meant to be, pain had become a constant reminder that we were both fools – hard headed, stubborn fools.

I could feel the burn in my legs intensify as I pushed myself harder. I had to be fast enough… I had to make it to her in time. No one would ever take Bella away from me again. I would make it to her in time; I would make her see that I was always the one that was meant to take care of her. She would not push me away again; I would not allow it. No matter how hard she resisted, I would make Isabella Swan mine… in _every_ way possible.

I wasn't going to waste any more time, fighting against fate. I'd already been away from her for five years – time I would never get back. She and I would make new memories; I would show her new reasons for her to love me. I could be everything she'd ever need and more. I was hers… no question about it. Bella Swan owned me, heart and soul.

Now, if only I could make her see that no one could – or would – ever love her the way I did.

I had to focus; I knew that. I had to reach Bella before Edward did something stupid. He was already going to pay for scaring her – she should never feel uncomfortable or unsafe – _ever!_ If he took it upon himself to lay a finger on her, I would take immense pleasure in ripping him apart piece by tiny fucking piece along with anyone else who tried to get in my way.

The question was would Edward really hurt her? Deep inside I knew, I knew the answer to that question – and with that realization, I pumped my body harder and faster still. There was no doubt in my mind that he would do just that. He was mad, upset; maybe even a little hurt that Bella had finally done the right thing: turned him away.

The trees began to thin a bit, more buildings began cropping up and I felt as if I were going to collapse due to exhaustion, but still I pushed toward my mate. I couldn't stop, not until I saw Bella with my own eyes and knew she was safe. If anything happened to her –

No… I couldn't think that way. I would make it to her in time. I _had_ to…

_"I'm coming, Bella – just hang on baby…"_

*Our Surprise Guest POV*

"Don't touch her, Edward. You don't want to do this." Even as I said the words, I knew they weren't true. The lie tasted foul and foreign on my tongue, and I didn't like it. My stomach felt as if it was churnin', which I knew was impossible, at the knowledge that I was bold-faced lyin' about Edward's intentions. I would never again lie for this man I'd once considered _'family'_. His feelin's stated very clearly that he was enjoyin' this much more than he should; but Bella was what was important here – gettin' her away from Edward, _far_ away.

Brother or no, I would kill Edward if he hurt her. I could feel how much he wanted this; he wanted to taste her blood more than even I'd ever wanted to. This wasn't the man I'd come to admire, trust, even love. This man was the monster that haunted people's nightmares, and he was out for revenge.

He wanted to hit Jacob Black where he knew it would hurt him the most – and he would do whatever it took to accomplish that goal.

Even hurt the woman he'd once claimed to love more than life itself.

"Ja…"

I finally looked to Bella, her tiny frame dwarfed by my so-called brother's – her eyes filled with tears and the scent of her fear hangin' in the air, so thick you could slice through it with a knife – as Edward ran his nails down the soft flesh of her throat. The angry red stood out against the paleness of her skin, marking and marrin' its way down her neck and onto her clothing.

I heard the dull thud as her skull collided with the wall behind her, but the scent of her fear became overshadowed by the thick and heavenly scent of blood. I swallowed impulsively as venom pooled in my mouth. I wouldn't be the monster that I had been – that Edward was now. I was better than that, and I would save Bella. I would be the good guy in this story…

I started to move toward them, my eyes never leaving Bella's, as Edward let her go and we all watched as her body crumpled to the floor. Her eyes – once filled with such joy and laughter, only held fear as she lay there. Her blood was beginnin' to clot and the wounds looked angry and ragged as she looked up at me, her eyes crossing as she began to lose her hold on consciousness. Her emotions – still so pure and beautiful – wrapped around me:

Trust, appreciation, love… Her love for us – And her love for her Jacob.

Edward moved toward Bella again, his eyes wild as he read my thoughts. Without even having to think, I put myself between him and Bella.

Was this it? Was this what the end looked like? Siblings – together as a family for centuries – squaring off against each other?

No words were spoken; the shock of this reality was too much for all three of us. But I knew – deep inside I knew that there was no way to change what was. I was prepared to do what was necessary to keep Bella safe, and I didn't bother to hide my thoughts as I stared into Edward's cruel, crimson eyes – the man we had all once considered 'brother'.

I'd never tasted such dark emotions from him before, and they only fueled my new-found hate for him even more. He didn't care about any of us anymore. He had a new agenda, a new purpose: To kill…

He wouldn't get another chance – not if I had anythin' to say about it. I hissed, lowering myself into a crouch, and listened to the steady beat of my sister's heart. I felt, more than saw Emmett and Alice do the same. If he wanted Bella, he would have to go through all three of us to get to her.

"This is far from over, brother," Edward spat angrily and turned quickly, crashing through the window, and disappearing into the night. The three of us didn't have time to think about anything else. There would be no fight tonight – but we all knew it was coming.

I had once said I would always protect Edward, back him no matter what. But I couldn't, in good faith, do that this time. He was no longer my brother, and I would never call him that again. My family was what mattered now – keeping them safe. There was nothin' more important to me than family – and Bella was, and always would be, my sister.

Emmett's emotions were clouded with worry and hurt as we took up the task of bandaging Bella and waiting for the inevitable arrival of one very pissed off shape shifter. We were all feeling the loss of Edward – Alice especially. They'd been the closest out of all of us, and she felt betrayed. Edward had run to the Volturi he had sold us out for his own personal gain.

"He's coming."

Alice's words startled me. Was Edward really foolish enough to come back and face us all? But then I realized who she meant –

Jacob Black's emotions were dark, out for blood, and tinged with the most honest love and worry I'd ever felt from anyone as he neared Bella's apartment building. I was worried that he would attack first and ask questions later – vampires in his mate's house wasn't going to be good, especially when he was this out of sorts with his emotions – but I could sense as he calmed slightly the closer he came.

He just needed to be near her – to see that she was safe… for now.

But there was going to be no stopping him later when he found out that Edward was really willing to hurt Bella. There would be hell to pay – and Edward would die.

The sad thing was, I couldn't even make myself feel upset about that fact…

*Jacob's POV*

My bare feet hit the cold pavement outside Bella's apartment and I could feel the tension leave my body slowly as I inhaled the scent of my mate. Vampires were around; I could feel them – smell them – but I could also tell that they didn't want to hurt me or my Bella. They were with her, standing guard.

I inhaled again as I pulled on my cutoffs, taking in every scent I could. The scent of leech burned my nostrils – too sweet and the aroma of bleach. I had to fight back the urge to vomit.

Three of them were with Bella, but none of them were the one I was looking for. His scent was here, but not concentrated anymore. He'd gotten away.

Edward had escaped. But not for long; I would make sure he got what was coming to him – and I would derive nothing but pleasure from giving him exactly what was owed. I _would_ make him hurt – that much I knew.

I walked into the building, letting the pull to my mate guide me as I walked through the dimly lit hallways, finally coming to the door that stood open. I was met by the sight of three vampires that I knew all too well: Cullens. But that wasn't what mattered to me at that moment; all I cared about was seeing that my mate – my Bella – was safe and unharmed.

"Jacob." Jasper, the tall blond vampire, stood just inside the door, his arms folded over his chest and his eyes fixed intensely on me. "It's a pleasure to see you again."

"Mmhm, and the pleasure's all yours. Where is she? She better be safe, or so help me…"

"She's banged up, but I assure you, she is just fine. We've been watchin' over her. He – he's not the man he once was, Jacob."

"No shit, I'm going to make him pay. No one touches what's mine and gets away with it!" I was fucking seething – Bella was banged up, which meant that that piece of shit had laid one of his filthy leech hands on her. His ass was as good as dead, never mind just hurting him – and this time there was no coming back from where I was going to send him. The fiery pits of hell weren't going to be fast or hot enough, so I was going to have a little bonfire of my own, a-la-Bitchward.

Would it be too much if I were to piss on the ashes?

"I need you to calm down; she has already been through so much tonight. Seeing you lose it and hunt down Edward – or whatever brought that disturbin' smirk to your lips – wouldn't do her any good."

"Jasper, he has every right to be upset." Alice, the demented Pixie, walked up behind her husband and wrapped her tiny arms around his waist as she looked up at me. "I'm sorry we didn't get to her before he did. I couldn't see anything until she got to Charlie's, and by then it was already too late. Edward informed the Volturi about Bella still being human, and now he is planning on one of two things…"

"Pixie, Jasper – while I appreciate the fact that you're both here and looking out for Bella when I couldn't be here with her, I don't think you want to tell me any of this shit right now."

"He's right guys; it'll only make him more upset – and though I think watching him go all wolfy and shit is pretty cool, I don't think it's in our best interest to have a vampire-hunting wolf on the prowl while we're here… do you?" Emmett's arms folded neatly over his chest as he looked at me. His eyes were pained – full of the hurt and sadness that his brother had caused.

Seeing that didn't change what I was going to have to do in the end… and that I'd probably enjoy it. Okay, so there wasn't even a probably about it – I'd really fucking enjoy ripping Edward apart. He wouldn't get away with this – he _had_ to pay.

I had always known that he was no good – especially not good enough for Bella – and that he would eventually show his true colors. He wasn't the man he had always pretended to be, though he was good at persuading and mind-fucking people into believing whatever he wanted them to. His mask was off, all of the lies pushed aside. No more pretenses – he was a fucking bloodsucking monster, and I would make sure he never hurt my Bella, or anyone else, again.

"Jacob, it's good to see you again – though I'm sorry it has to be under these circumstances," Emmett said as he tried to smile.

I wouldn't feel bad about what needed to be done – they were vampires, and I had no pity for killers, no matter how 'tame' they may be.

"And, umm, I believe you have some explaining to do to your girl here – she looked awfully surprised when Edward told her you had imprinted on her."

"Shit – he told her?" Of course he did, the prick. "I kept it from her because I was so hurt –"

Why in the hell was I talking about this shit with these three? I didn't owe them any-damn-thing!

"Hurt or not, dude, you fucked up. I know she's hurt you; she is kind of naïve in that way, Jacob. She's never done the right thing when it comes to herself – or her heart for that matter. But don't you think she deserves the truth? If you are going to be with her she needs to know everything. She had a man that lied to her, kept things from her and treated her like she was made of glass. You best bring your A-game if you want Bella Swan because even though she's not marrying my brother she's my little sis, and I will fuck your shit up – understood?"

Well hell, when did big guy get so damn smart – and protective as hell over my girl? She needed more people like _this_ in her life. And, though I didn't like the fact that they were vampires, they had saved her life… That didn't mean I had to like them – and I didn't.

I nodded once as Emmett stepped aside.

There she was, lying on the couch covered in bandages and bruises – and I hadn't been there to protect her. I couldn't help but feel grateful that Emmett, Alice and Jasper had been here to help her.

I kneeled down on the floor beside her and ran my fingers over the skin of her right cheek. She was so damn soft.

"Bella, you have to wake up, baby. I'm here now, and I'm so sorry," I whispered hoarsely. I was on the verge of breaking down into tears like a fucking baby – but I couldn't bring myself to give a shit. I had almost lost her – _again_ – permanently.

There could be no more stubbornness. We had to get over that, and fast, because I couldn't live without her. I wasn't going to fight it anymore – she was my life, everything that I needed and wanted and that was the only truth I would ever need to know.

"Bella, please wake up," I implored.

The room was silent – the air still and heavy as I held my breath. I was looking down into the face of an angel, her brown eyes focusing on me as a small smile pulled across her lips.

"Jacob… you're here?" She sounded unsure and groggy, her voice small and shaky as it wrapped around me like the sweetest sound I'd ever heard. Of course she wouldn't believe I was there with her, after all she'd done to push me away.

My stubborn, stupid girl.

"We'll just, uhh… we'll be around," Emmett said with an uncomfortable chuckle and I listened as each one of them left the room, the door closing with a soft 'snick' behind them.

"God, Bella," I whispered, my fingers still tracing across her cheek softly. "I'm so sorry – I should have been here. I always should have been here. I thought I'd lost you for good this time. How could you be so stupid?"

"I thought I was doing the right thing?" It came out as more of a question than a statement. This girl really was naïve…

"Bella, come on. He's a vampire that's hunting you – and you thought leaving the rez, where we could protect you, was a good idea?"

"I'll admit it wasn't the brightest plan, but I wanted you to be safe."

"Ugh, you stupid, stupid girl," I sighed heavily, the urge to kiss her getting stronger and harder to ignore as I looked into her eyes. The fact that she was alive made me giddy like a teenage fucking girl – seriously, sissy shit. "I love that you were thinking of me, but this was a half-cocked plan at best. You could have been killed. Did you even for one second think of what the consequences could have been? You could have died, Bella!"

"I know, and I'm sorry." Her eyes were slightly wet as tears began to build up in their depths, her bottom lip trembling. "I'll never run away again – I swear. It was stupid, and I'm so sorry for everything. Please, please, Jacob. I'm yours… I'll never run away again and I'm yours if you still want me?"

"I shouldn't have let you leave. I should have kept you there and made you listen," was all I could say. The hurt in her eyes as I blatantly ignored her previous admission cut through me – but there was just so much shit still hanging in the air between us. I wasn't the stupid, horny sixteen year old she had left standing on the street outside Charlie's house. I was going to do this right this time: slow, one day at a time and on my terms.

"This is my fault; I left – I didn't want to listen. I wanted to be the one to save you – to give you what you've always given me – protection. I wanted you to be okay…"

"No, I – "

"Jacob, it's my fault, for once let me take the blame. Please," she interrupted. She was staring straight into my eyes. "I pushed you away and hurt you so many times. So many wasted years – I have dreamed of what would have happened had I not left that night. We'd be married by now, just settling into a new home. Maybe with a baby on the way… I know now why you kept it from me, the imprint."

I bowed my head in shame; I couldn't bring myself to look her in the eyes at that moment. I'd always told her that I wouldn't hurt her, but I had… I had hurt her. No matter how much I wanted that to be false, it wasn't. I'd done the one thing I'd promised her I wouldn't do.

"I was hurt at first, surprised mostly, but I understand now. I don't deserve someone like you, Jacob. I don't deserve my dreams to come true – the ones of what we could have together. I think I've always known that…"

"Bella…"

She held up her hand to silence me and continued on.

"I don't deserve you; God knows I don't, Jacob. I've never done anything in this life to merit such a gift. But I love you, and I want all of those things with you. With all my heart and soul, I love you."

My eyes found hers once more, a smile pulling across my own lips. I had waited so long – so very long – to hear those words and know that she meant she _'love'_ loved me. I could see the honesty in her eyes as she waited for me to say something – anything.

"I love you, Bella. I always have."

"D-does this mean we can be together? I mean, I know we have a lot of things we need to get out in the open, but…"

Could I do this? Could I put my heart out there for her again – Bella Swan, the only girl who had ever broken me – and make this work? I knew in my heart that I would never love anyone like I loved Bella, but could a relationship between us really be anything more than us hurting each other all the time? And honesty, that was a big one. We were always keeping things from each other. But I also knew that I couldn't be without her – I couldn't picture my life without her in it.

"I still need some time, Bella, to sort shit out in my head. But I would like to try. I won't make any promises as to what might or might not happen. We'll just take it a little bit at a time, okay?"

That was the only thing I could give her. Because even though I loved her – so fucking much – I was also still my own person. I wasn't going to just drop my own life and pick up where we left off. There was so much to do, so much to learn about one another.

Jake and Bells were a thing of the past. This was the time for Bella to get to know Jacob – the man I had become _because_ she had broken me. This would be the real test, because imprint or not – I wouldn't be pushed aside when she got tired of me and I sure as hell wouldn't be her puppet. The imprint would always bind us together, though I had loved her even before the magic had done its work; but I wouldn't allow her to hurt me anymore, she had to know where I stood.

"That's all I can or will ask of you, Jacob."

"But one thing, Bella," I said with conviction – my voice strong and sure. I would leave no room for her to question my intentions. I made sure she was listening before I continued on. "If you ever run away from me again, don't count on me chasing after you. No matter how much I love you and how much it would hurt to let go, I will not allow someone to hurt me that way anymore."

"I don't want you to hurt anymore, not because of me. I promise, Jacob – as long as I live and breathe, I belong to you. I'll never pull away again."

"Then you understand me better than I thought, Bella, because you're right… you do belong to me, you always have."

With that, I crushed my lips against hers roughly – taking from her everything I could and giving back just as much. Tasting, feeling… but not regretting. We were tongues, teeth and heavy breaths. Moans and whispers of love filled the air before we collided together again and again.

This was bliss – everything I'd been missing for so long and for the first time in five years, I was whole – I was _home._


	8. Chapter 8

So, I'll keep this short and sweet - this chapter contains sexual content. You are warned and I am really nervous about posting it, but my betas seemed to like it...

I've said it once, but I'll say it again: I LOVE MY BETA GIRLS! Many thanks to the wonderful Kitty aka Cat (Rhodes11) and Shamika aka October Skies. You're both amazing and I wouldn't be able to do this without you.

The chapter title comes from "Anywhere" by 112. I don't own that or the characters used in this story... I just like to _play_!

*I Know You See Me*

*Jacob's POV – I Want To Hear You Scream My Name*

"Bella, I love you so much." I was breathing heavy, my very obvious arousal straining against the zipper of my cutoffs. This kiss was getting a bit out of hand, but I couldn't find the will to stop. I needed this, and the five years of being away from my mate had built up like a monster, just waiting to burst forth from inside me.

"I need you, Jacob. I love you," she whispered against my lips as I leaned down to capture hers once more. I couldn't give her the opportunity to break my will down more than it already was. I couldn't take this to the level we both obviously wanted, not while she was injured.

"Baby, you're hurt," I whispered as she pulled her lips away from mine.

"N-no, I'm fine. I need to be with you, please."

I wasn't comfortable lying on top of her on the couch, my legs were cramped, and being so close to her wasn't doing anything to help me stay strong. I _did_ want to do this, but she had been hurt. I didn't want to risk hurting her any more.

I had to get up; I had to stop this before things escalated any further.

"B-Bella, stop, please," I stuttered. I was desperately trying to hold onto the tiny amount of self-control I had left, but she was breaking me, wearing me down to a quivering pile of nerves and lust. She was my Achilles heel, always had been, and she knew it.

"We really shouldn't do this right now; there are still too many things we have to talk about before we can have sex."

The words left my mouth in a rush. That wasn't what I wanted. What I wanted was to jump back on top of her and ravish every fucking inch of her body. That would have to wait; though, for the life of me I couldn't place my finger on the _exact_ reason why we shouldn't just get to the loving part. I'd waited all this time for her, to feel her and have her with me; to be inside of her. I wanted all of that and more, but my damn conscience was getting the best of me.

"Jake, please. _Please_," she moaned against the skin of my neck, her teeth nipping roughly before I felt her tongue lathe and soothe the same spot. She was going to fucking kill me, I was sure of it. "I know we have so much to talk about, but I need you. I've waited so long for this moment, for you. So please, take me, Jacob."

She obviously knew I wanted her; my dick was poking against her inner thigh. Was it really good to just skip the talks that we both knew we needed to have and get straight to the sex?

I slid down her body, careful to keep my weight off of her, and stood up. This _wasn't_ the right time, no matter how badly I wanted it. Bella had just been attacked by her psycho ex and there were three nosey vamps around here somewhere that could probably hear every word we were saying.

It wasn't exactly the most opportune time to let go of my inhibitions and fuck the hell out of my gorgeous-as- fuck mate. We had all the time in the world to do whatever we wanted, especially now that we were together.

This was the beginning of forever, and I would take my time with her.

"Maybe we should head back to the Rez, you know?" I said as I watched the corner of her lips lift into a coy grin.

"I think we should stay right here and you can show me just how much you've missed me."

She was fucking teasing me, the little minx. Two could play at this game.

"Do you now? Well, as much as I'd love to be balls deep inside you right now, Bella, I really don't think our first time should be while the Cullens are around and can hear you screaming my name as I fuck you; do you, kitten?"

Her eyes grew wide for a moment and then she sat up slowly, her tiny hands reaching out for me. I obliged and walked into her grip, her fingers finding purchase in the belt loops of my shorts.

"I think that sounds like a great idea, and if they don't like it, they can leave. All I care about is you."

She tugged me closer, my navel right at face level, and I watched as she ran her tongue around it. Her eyes flicked up to mine slowly as she repeated the action over and over. I couldn't stay away from her; this girl was like a fucking addiction. I found myself lying back on top of her, careful not to crush her, and pushed my lips against hers roughly.

"You have no idea what you're doing to me right now, Bella," I moaned - fucking _moaned_ - as I pulled back away from her lips, but still unable to pull away completely.

She was just too fucking delicious for her own good.

"I think I do," she whispered softly against my lips, her tongue dragging against the bottom one, like the sweetest kind of torture.

She tasted so good: like mint with a hint of sweetness and something just so _Bella_. I couldn't get enough of it, enough of her.

Bella arched her back and ground herself against the front of my cutoffs, my dick once more rubbed roughly against the zipper and my mind was made up. Even if I couldn't be inside Bella tonight – which I really, _really_ wanted to be – I had to get these damn things off at the very least.

"I can't promise how far we'll go tonight, but I have to get these shorts off before they chafe my dick right off."

Bella giggled loudly as she pulled back away from me. Looking down into her eyes: so wide, curious and full of trust, I knew that my resolve to stay strong was probably going to be futile. No matter how much I fought against her, she would always be my Kryptonite – my biggest weakness. She knew that, and I knew that...

And that was exactly why Edward wanted to get to her.

How could I have been so fucking stupid? He was plotting all of this to get even with me. He was willing to hurt Bella all because of some fucking pissing contest? He was going to _kill_ the girl I love to make me weak and then finish me off.

_Son of a bitch!_

"Jacob, what's wrong? What is it? He's back – oh God, he's back, isn't he?" Bella asked, her voice becoming louder and taking on a higher pitch as her heart began slamming inside her chest.

She was panicking… _shit!_

Maybe we would be talking tonight. We needed to get this all out in the open, even though my body had other ideas of how to pass the time.

"Shh, it's okay. I'm here, Bella. I'm always going to be here. He's not anywhere near by, baby, I promise. I was just thinking about something." Honesty Jake… Just be honest with her. "I just realized what his game is. I mean, it's not a game – but to him… He's doing all of this because he's pissed that you chose me instead of him. He knows that if he were to hurt you or take you from me, I wouldn't be able to fight him. He'd win because he knows I'd willingly choose death."

"D-don't talk like that," she whispered. Her voice and heart were both calm again as she ran her fingers through my hair. "I can't lose you, not this time. I fought so damn hard against what I knew in my heart, all for nothing. I went to Italy to save Edward and all that time he had been planning on killing me anyway." Her nails scratched against my scalp and I had to fight the urge to close my eyes. This needed to be said, and I would hear her out.

"There will never be anyone else for me, Jacob. If I lose you…" she paused, her eyes welling up with tears as she stopped her hands, holding my head steady as she stared straight into my eyes once again.

I would never tire of that. This girl held her soul inside her eyes. All I'd ever wanted to hear from her was right there, for the whole world to see. I'd just been too blinded by my hate for the bloodsucker and the fact that she'd left to go save him to see it.

"If I lose you," she continued, "there's nothing left for me. There can be no me without you."

"And I feel the same, my Bella. I've always felt that way about you. All that time you were fighting against your feelings for me. Even though I knew you were in love with me. That was how I felt – I still do."

"I'm so sorry, Jacob. I know I've said it a bunch of times but I'll tell you over and over for the rest of my life. I'm so very sorry that I left you that night. I should have stayed with you, where I knew all along that I really, truly belonged."

"Well, I have you now and I'm never letting go. Now no more sad stuff, okay?" I had to try to ease the tension in the room, so I did the only thing I could think of to make her laugh: tickling her sides. She giggled, grabbing my hands tightly in hers.

"Please, no tickling…" she gasped. Her voice all breathy sounding was so hot, and now we were right back to where we had been before the talk. The sexual tension in this room was stifling and my dick was once again rock hard and pushing up against the zipper of my shorts.

This was getting ridiculous and I couldn't stand it any longer.

I let go of her sides and slid slowly back off the couch, all the while her eyes following me. I reached down, unbuttoning my shorts, sliding the zipper down and letting them go so they fell loosely around my hips. Her cheeks turned the prettiest shade of pink and I couldn't help the cocky smile that overtook my lips.

She was as turned on as I was, and maybe I wasn't going to take this as slow as I'd thought. She was so beautiful, and we'd both waited so long for this moment. This was everything I'd ever wanted, and I wasn't going to fight against my need for this woman – I'd promised myself that I would stop fighting against her. I could never deny her anything. Or myself, for that matter.

I had to feel her body wrapped around mine, in every way possible.

"I don't think I can help myself," I whispered throatily. "I was going to take this slow – let us get to know one another again, but you look too fucking edible for your own good." The growl coming from my mouth was predatory. I was going to stalk my prey and devour her… in the best of ways, of course.

"Don't hold back, Jacob."

Oh, she had _no_ idea what she was asking for.

I bent down, careful to keep my shorts in place and hefted Bella up into my arms. I walked slowly down the hall toward the rooms at the back of the apartment, all the while enjoying the feel of her wrapped in my arms, just where she was meant to be.

"Which door, Bella?" I asked, looking from left to right.

"L-left," she stuttered as she leaned her face into the crook of my neck. I could hear her inhaling my scent, taking me in, before she placed an open-mouthed kiss against my Adam's apple.

"Fuck, you have no idea what you're opening yourself up to, Bells." The constant rumble in my chest was causing her to vibrate slightly against me as she continued to work her mouth over my skin.

"I love it when you call me that, and I don't care what you say; I want you to take me in any way you want. I'm yours Jacob, always."

This was going to be hard and fast – nothing like our first time should be, but I couldn't stop myself. There was no way the beast was backing down now.

I moved her around in my arms so that she was facing me. Her legs wrapped around my waist and her arms locked around my neck. Walking forward, I pinned her tightly between my body and her closed bedroom door.

"You're in trouble now little girl," I growled between my teeth. My fingers of my right hand were digging into the soft flesh of her ass as I used my left hand to pull my shorts off. The denim pooled around my feet before I kicked them off to the side. My left hand took up residence on her other ass cheek and I pulled her tightly against me.

"Take your shirt off, Bella. You've awoken the monster inside me, and there's no way we're going to stop now – he wants to play, too."

She grinned slightly before she let her arms fall from around my neck. I watched her eyes closely as she lifted the hem of her shirt – our eye contact only breaking for a moment as she pulled it off over her head. She let it fall to the floor beside us into the growing pile of clothing.

She wasn't wearing a bra – _fuck!_

I hissed slightly as our skin met for the first time. The feel of her skin, so soft and supple against mine was amazing. I knew I'd never forget this moment for as long as I lived and no other woman would ever be able to make me feel like this again. Hell, no woman _had ever_ been able to compare with Bella. She was perfect, beautiful, and all mine.

Her nipples, hardened into stiff peaks, rubbed against my chest and my eyes closed; my forehead meeting hers for a moment before I took her lips against mine. I waited for her to open up to me and she didn't disappoint. I moved my tongue with hers, tasting her mouth. I couldn't get her close enough, not like this. I needed more.

"More, Bella," I breathed as I broke the kiss. "I need you so much, please."

"Still too many clothes," she moaned against my lips.

She was right; her borrowed shorts were in the way of me getting the part of her I desperately wanted at that moment.

With great effort I let her unwrap her legs from around me and helped her get steady on her feet as I backed away slightly. She stood there naked from the waist up, looking more beautiful than I'd ever seen her – hair a mess from my fingers running through it, her lips swollen from our kisses, and her eyes full of love and lust directed straight at me.

I watched with rapt attention as she moved her fingers down to the button of her shorts and she undid them quickly, pushing them down over her hips before kicking them off to the side where our pile of clothes now lay.

"You're – beautiful." That was all I could manage as I stared at her. She was fucking breathtaking and I wanted her. I had to have her. "Mine…"

This wasn't going to last nearly as long as I wanted it to, but she was finally _all_ mine and I was going to take her in every way possible.

*Bella's POV*

I watched his eyes as they raked up and down my body. I wasn't the least bit nervous standing here in front of Jacob with no clothes on – he made me feel beautiful and wanted. I'd never felt as sexy as I did in that moment.

"Mine…" he growled.

A rush of wetness seeped from between my legs as his voice washed over me. I was ready. I'd denied this part of myself for far too long, the part that was a sexual creature and wanted desperately to be taken over by no one but the man that stood in front of me.

I knew that this was going to hurt. I had never had sex before, but I was going to welcome it. I would embrace the pain that came with giving this part of myself to Jacob, a part of me that no one else would ever have.

"Take me, I'm yours," I whispered. My voice more sure and steady than it had ever been.

He didn't hesitate; he took two long strides back toward me and hefted me up into his strong arms. I was once again pinned between the hot, muscular body of Jacob and the cold wood of my bedroom door, and I couldn't imagine being anywhere else at that very moment.

I felt Jacob lean toward my neck where the bandages were covering the scratches that Edward had left, and he placed a gentle kiss over them.

"Do they hurt much, baby?" he asked.

"No, I'm fine, really," I lied.

I knew that he could see right through the fib, but he didn't call me out on it. I'd never been a good liar, that fact hadn't changed. It didn't matter anyway; all I wanted was to feel him against me, inside me. I was finally right where I was meant to be, and I wasn't going to let a few sore scratches keep me from feeling everything I knew Jacob could make me feel.

"I'm glad you're okay," he said before once again placing a soft kiss against my neck. The feel of his lips on my skin caused a shiver to run up my spine and another rush of warmth to bloom in my abdomen.

This was it; there was no turning back now. This was the moment I'd waited for for over five years. I was finally going to give all of myself: heart, body and soul, to the man I loved.

"Please, Jacob," I begged.

I wanted this. I was surer about this than I'd ever been about anything else, besides that I loved Jacob Black with everything I was. There were no doubts that this was what I wanted – forever. "I love you, and I want to give you this."

He pushed me tighter against the door as he moved his body so I was lined up against him where he could slip inside me. I held on tightly around his shoulders as he looked into my eyes one more time before pushing himself inside my body, breaking through the barrier that had held my innocence in one swift, blurring motion.

There were no explosions of fireworks or sunshine and butterflies. There wasn't anything like that. I was full of Jacob, connected to him in every way physically possible and it _really_ fucking hurt. It wasn't soft or gentle, and my body sure as hell didn't feel like it was on another plane of conciousness or some shit like that. Nothing about this felt comfortable or pleasureable. It wasn't anything like they described in books at all.

I hissed through the pain and felt like a cat trying to climb a tree as I tried to back off of him. I wouldn't regret giving myself to him, but the pain...

Pain I expected, but the burn and stretch and the feeling of being overwhelmingly full, to the point I felt as if I were going to rip in half… that wasn't at all how I'd imagined sex to feel.

And people did this for a living?

"Shh, I'm sorry – I'm so sorry," he whispered as he panted into my hair. "It gets better, I promise."

"It hurts," I admitted. I felt like such a fucking baby – were those tears I felt trailing down my cheeks? I felt as if I couldn't handle this now that we'd already come this far.

"You tell me to stop and I will, I'll pull out right now."

"No," I said quickly, not even hesitating. I still wanted this, no matter how much it hurt. Though none of it was pleasureable in a physical way for me, I did find myself taking pleasure in the fact that Jacob Black was now a part of me. He was inside of me, and it could only get better... right?

"Don't – I want to feel you," I assured him. "I'll take the pain as long as I get to have you this way."

"Bella…" He began before I quieted him by pushing my lips against his roughly. I would take it because I was finally getting to have Jacob, all of him.

He was _mine_.

He pulled back slightly, his hips separating from mine a few inches before pushing back into me roughly. My ass smacked against the door and my head flew back as I let all of the feelings wash over me. The stark contrast of cold and hot and the intense feeling of him being so deep inside of me - my nerves were on overload, every movement was almost too much, but I wanted this.

"Do that again," I moaned. I was acting like a bitch in heat and I _apparently_ had a bit of a dirty side, but I was beyond caring. This was the beginning of forever with a man I didn't deserve, but I was selfish and I was going to keep him.

Jacob pulled back again and repeated the motion, slamming my ass into the door behind me as his dick hit something inside of me that felt _almost_ pleasurable. I wasn't under the impression that it would feel good enough to get me off, but the knowledge that this was really happening with Jacob right now was amazing. It was worth the pain.

I pulled back enough to look at Jacob's face, admiring the pucker between his brows as if he were concentrating really hard. He was so beautiful in his pleasure, and I felt the swell of pride that it was me that was giving it to him.

Finally, I'd done something right. I could love him like no one else could, that fact I was absolutely sure of.

His hips connected with mine again, over and over the motions repeated: out, in – ass slamming against the door – out, his hips moving in a bit of a circle, and back in. His pubic bone brushing against my clit roughly was enough to make my eyes cross as my nails found purchase in the skin of his shoulders.

There were no more words spoken, just the sound of Jacob's heavy breathing and an occasional gasp of surprise as he hit that same spot inside of me and my clit getting some much needed attention. This was everything I could have wanted my first time to be like, even though it was rushed and against a door.

But that was just how things between Jacob and me had always been: crazy, heated and sometimes painful – but it was natural and just… _us_. It was perfect.

His eyes found mine, and for one brief moment time stopped.

Everything that I'd ever feared: Edward, the Volturi, losing Jacob… it was all washed away by the truth behind the deep brown of his eyes. I was his, and he would never let anyone ever hurt me again. From this moment on we were one.

"I love you," he moaned, his eyes never leaving mine as he continued to move inside me. My body was aching, the burn and pain still there, but it didn't matter. I would always remember this moment with him. We weren't fixed completely, but we both loved each other, and nothing would come between us again.

"I fucking love you, Bella. You're mine."

I gasped loudly as his hips hit against mine roughly; I could feel him swell inside me and the look on his face told me all I needed to know: his eyes were heavily lidded, his mouth open slightly as he moaned my name under his breath.

I couldn't help but feel giddy at the fact that I'd done that to him; I'd made him feel good.

His fingers loosened from the cheeks of my ass – I was sure to have bruises in the morning, but I couldn't bring myself to care – and his forehead met mine as he shuddered slightly.

"I'm sorry it was so fast…"

"It was perfect," I said quickly, cutting him off before he ruined the moment. "Maybe next time we'll try it in a bed, if we can make it that far."

Jacob laughed, and I could feel him swell inside me again before he pulled his hips back, pulling out of me.

I tried not to let my disappointment show. I felt the profound loss of him immediately and started to worry that he'd already turned me into some sort of sex-starved nymphomaniac. I knew that wasn't it; I missed the connection to him. When we were together this way, it was the closest we could ever possibly be and I missed the feeling already.

"Don't worry," he whispered, his lips moving against the shell of my ear as his breath fanned across my skin. "This is far from over. We have five years to make up for, if you're not too sore."

I mulled it over for a brief moment before leaning forward, my lips connecting with the skin of his neck and inhaled deeply. I let the tip of my tongue run along his collarbone before I let out a small moan; the taste of him was _so_ fucking intoxicating.

Sore or not, I wanted him. I needed to feel that connection, the feeling of being totally and completely consumed by Jacob. I needed to be reassured that this wasn't all some sort of dream, and so I pulled back slightly, my eyes meeting his again and smiled.

"Take me to bed, Jacob."


End file.
